Sunday 3 January 2010

Feeling unhappy?

Are you constantly feeling sad, low or disappointed with life? Perhaps you feel a little depressed on times? Do you wish you could find happiness but perhaps don't think it will ever happen for you? If that's you then continue reading.

What exactly is 'Happiness', this state that most people never seem to achieve or believe they will achieve if only something or someone happens? What does it mean to you?

For many years I strived to find happiness by constantly pushing myself to achieve more and more yet never ever achieving 'happiness'. So one day I sat down and defined happiness and here's what it means to me:

It’s a feeling you have inside that tells you that all is well in your world. You are content and happy in that moment. Any concerns or problems are put to one side and you feel grateful for what you have now. At peace with yourself, your surroundings and the people you are with. You may not have all that you want right now however, you are satisfied with your journey so far in life.

The level of happiness that you experience will vary depending on what is happening and will differ for each person.

The wikipedia definition states ‘Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.’

Ok so that's what other people think however, what is more important is what do you believe happiness means? How do you know when you are happy? What needs to happen for you to choose to be happy?

In my experience this will vary from person to person. I have a long list of things that cause me to choose to feel happy. From feeling happy about having woken up to another day to things like hearing birds sing, driving my car or walking through the woods, the exhilaration of ski-ing to having a coffee with friends or buying new clothes.

One man said to me ‘All I need to do is look down. I am happy that I am not six feet under!’

Other people say to me ‘I will be happy when I have a new car or win the lottery or when my partner gets a new job’. These people are putting off feeling happy until something happens, something that is often outside their control. They have a set of rules or criteria for when they will allow themselves to feel happy that are often hard to achieve.

Activities

So what has to happen for you to feel happy?

1. Make a list now of all the things that you love to do. The little things that bring a smile to your face. If you find that you have high standards, for once I encourage you to lower them! Give yourself permission to feel happy more often. I want you to start feeling happy at least once a day.

If you struggle to feel happy or it is a long time since you felt happy and you would like to create more happiness in your life then take the following action;

2. I want you to remember a time when you felt really happy. Recall that moment and allow yourself to remember how you felt. I want you to recreate those feelings now. Create a picture in your mind of what happened to cause you to feel happy. See what you saw, hear what was being said and feel what you felt. Allow yourself to drift back to that moment and let the feelings happen again. Enjoy that moment.

If you find it hard to recall a specific time I want you to imagine what it would be like to feel happy. What are you doing? What do you see? What do you hear? How do you feel? Really allow yourself to feel the emotion.

The more often you create the feeling inside the more happy memories you will have and the more you will attract.

Life is not about being happy all the time. It would be unrealistic to expect not to have both ups and downs and quite frankly very dull.

It’s important to be happy with who you are and what you have now. Enjoy the present moment and take into account the following:

• Know what you want,
• Set realistic goals for you and not for someone else (you cannot control another person’s behaviour e.g. I want my partner to get a new job so that I can be happy. Your partner may not want a new job, you have no control over that person and your happiness does not depend on someone else. Decide instead to start doing things that make you feel happy. )
• Take action to achieve it.

Wishing you many happy experiences,

Noelyne Jones
P.S. If you are stuggling to be happy sign up for my special report which will kickstart overcoming your fear of never finding happiness.

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