A Message from Noelyne...
There are three elements that make up face to face communication: Visual (Non-verbal or body language), Verbal (Words) and Vocal (Tone of voice). And according to Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of Psychology in face to face spoken communication a large percentage of meaning is taken from the non-verbal part. In fact his research suggests 55% of meaning is taken from non-verbals, 38% from the Tone and 7% the words.
What this means in practise is that if your words, tone and non-verbals are not aligned then the message you are giving could be misinterpreted. The same words said with different tone and body language can convey different meanings. For example, you could be at an interview and be explaining your achievements. If you hesitate or struggle to think of the words and use um's as well as fidgeting and lack of eye contact then no matter what the words you use the interviewer will think you lack confidence and are less likely to believe you.
When someone asks you how you are and you respond with 'I'm fine thanks' with no smile, minimal eye contact and hunched shoulders, then it could be perceived that you are not 'fine'. Expect a follow up question if the person really wants to know how you are really feeling. If someone is not bothered they will just shrug their shoulders and walk away.
The best way to find out about how you are perceived by others when communicating is to get some feedback from people you trust. Ask them to check your non-verbal communication, which includes things like eye contact, posture, gestures, appearance, facial expressions. If you are preparing to do a presentation then video yourself and watch for the nerves leaking out in your non-verbals. The twiddling with your hair or clicking a pen.
Self-awareness is the first step to becoming an effective communicator. Once you are self-aware you can then manage and control your own behaviour.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self-esteem www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com
Friday 6 February 2015
Wednesday 4 February 2015
How to Influence Others - Cialdini's 6 sources of influence
A Message from Noelyne...
When it comes to Influence, Robert Cialdini is a well known expert and author on the topic. In his book 'Influence - The Power of Persuasion' he introduces his 6 Rules of Influencing.
Reciprocation:
If you do something for someone, they are likely to feel better about doing something for you in return. They might even feel obliged to help you in future.
Commitment and Consistency:
Once people make a commitment then they are less likely to change their mind due to the desire to be consistent which seems to be in built in us. People don't want to lose face particularly where they have made a public commitment. That's why you are encouraged to write goals down to increase the likelihood of achievement.
Social Proof:
When people see others doing something, they feel better about doing it themselves. It's a bit like the lemmings scenario.
Liking:
People respond well to people they like.
Authority:
People react positively to authority figures if they respect them.
Scarcity:
People are more interested in things that are difficult to obtain or might run out. That's why you see so many adverts stating that time is running out. Buy now while stocks last. This offer will not be repeated again! Special price for the first 20 people only! etc etc
Consider how you might be able to use these rules to enhance your influencing skills.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How to Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com
When it comes to Influence, Robert Cialdini is a well known expert and author on the topic. In his book 'Influence - The Power of Persuasion' he introduces his 6 Rules of Influencing.
Reciprocation:
If you do something for someone, they are likely to feel better about doing something for you in return. They might even feel obliged to help you in future.
Commitment and Consistency:
Once people make a commitment then they are less likely to change their mind due to the desire to be consistent which seems to be in built in us. People don't want to lose face particularly where they have made a public commitment. That's why you are encouraged to write goals down to increase the likelihood of achievement.
Social Proof:
When people see others doing something, they feel better about doing it themselves. It's a bit like the lemmings scenario.
Liking:
People respond well to people they like.
Authority:
People react positively to authority figures if they respect them.
Scarcity:
People are more interested in things that are difficult to obtain or might run out. That's why you see so many adverts stating that time is running out. Buy now while stocks last. This offer will not be repeated again! Special price for the first 20 people only! etc etc
Consider how you might be able to use these rules to enhance your influencing skills.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How to Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com
Tuesday 3 February 2015
How to Influence Others - Perception
A Message from Noelyne....
What is perception?
Most will say it's about the way you see something.
Perception is accomplished by taking information in through all of our senses and using this information to interpret the situation, recognise potential threats and decide how best to proceed.
How might peoples' perceptions of you impact your ability to influence them?
If they perceive you to be influential, they may be more likely to go along with your ideas. If they like you, they might be more likely to believe you. If you value the same things, they might be more inclined to listen to you.
Everyone has influence. Some influence people unintentionally and others influence people intentionally. Those with a greater degree of self-awareness are able to identify how they are perceived by other people and how to change those perceptions when necessary. This is a vital skill when your aim is to influence people in specific ways.
What do you see?
Some will see a vase or cup first, others will see the profiles of two people facing each other. We take in the information through our senses and interpret it's meaning. This will be different for different people.
Two people going through the same experience will often have different stories to tell. Each will have taken in information in different ways, will have noticed different things and created different meanings. A lot will depend on past experience, also values and beliefs. When someone has had a bad past experience in a similar situation to the one they are now facing, it will often affect their perception of the current situation creating a negative meaning. This can be evident when people are going through change. If there is strong resistance it could be due to previous bad experiences of change.
How do others perceive you? If you are not sure then you need to ask some people you know and trust for some feedback.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report by completing your name and email in the boxes provided on the right hand side of the blog.
What is perception?
Most will say it's about the way you see something.
Perception is accomplished by taking information in through all of our senses and using this information to interpret the situation, recognise potential threats and decide how best to proceed.
How might peoples' perceptions of you impact your ability to influence them?
If they perceive you to be influential, they may be more likely to go along with your ideas. If they like you, they might be more likely to believe you. If you value the same things, they might be more inclined to listen to you.
Everyone has influence. Some influence people unintentionally and others influence people intentionally. Those with a greater degree of self-awareness are able to identify how they are perceived by other people and how to change those perceptions when necessary. This is a vital skill when your aim is to influence people in specific ways.
Some will see a vase or cup first, others will see the profiles of two people facing each other. We take in the information through our senses and interpret it's meaning. This will be different for different people.
Two people going through the same experience will often have different stories to tell. Each will have taken in information in different ways, will have noticed different things and created different meanings. A lot will depend on past experience, also values and beliefs. When someone has had a bad past experience in a similar situation to the one they are now facing, it will often affect their perception of the current situation creating a negative meaning. This can be evident when people are going through change. If there is strong resistance it could be due to previous bad experiences of change.
How do others perceive you? If you are not sure then you need to ask some people you know and trust for some feedback.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report by completing your name and email in the boxes provided on the right hand side of the blog.
Monday 2 February 2015
How To Influence Others - Building Credibility
A Message from Noelyne....
If you want to influence others then it helps enormously if you have a high level of credibility. People are more likely to listen to someone who knows what they are talking about, sounds as they know what they are talking about and has experience in the subject. It's all about how others perceive you. Are you seen as credible? Are you regarded as a person of integrity? Once you have established your credibility it will enhance the chances of influencing others and get the results you want.
So how do you establish credibility?
4 ways to build credibility are:
Honour confidentiality: An important step in gaining a trustworthy reputation. When someone confides in you, respect that confidence and don't blab to others.
Deliver on your promises: Reliability helps establish a reputation. When you say you are going to do something...Do It! Always follow through.
Accept responsibility: Acknowledge your mistakes, don't blame others and give others credit where it is due. Taking credit for the achievements of others in a sign of weakness and insecurity. You will gain respect from many more by highlighting the achievements of others.
Strengthen your expertise: Continue to grow and develop in your roles in life. Learn new skills and keep up to date with the latest knowledge and ideas.
Who do you know who has credibility? What is it about the person that makes you perceive them that way?
I regularly have to establish my credibility at the start of every new training course that I deliver. I tailor the introduction to match the subject matter, which helps to quickly establish credibility with my delegates. This will enhance my chances of influencing their learning.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
If you want to influence others then it helps enormously if you have a high level of credibility. People are more likely to listen to someone who knows what they are talking about, sounds as they know what they are talking about and has experience in the subject. It's all about how others perceive you. Are you seen as credible? Are you regarded as a person of integrity? Once you have established your credibility it will enhance the chances of influencing others and get the results you want.
So how do you establish credibility?
4 ways to build credibility are:
Honour confidentiality: An important step in gaining a trustworthy reputation. When someone confides in you, respect that confidence and don't blab to others.
Deliver on your promises: Reliability helps establish a reputation. When you say you are going to do something...Do It! Always follow through.
Accept responsibility: Acknowledge your mistakes, don't blame others and give others credit where it is due. Taking credit for the achievements of others in a sign of weakness and insecurity. You will gain respect from many more by highlighting the achievements of others.
Strengthen your expertise: Continue to grow and develop in your roles in life. Learn new skills and keep up to date with the latest knowledge and ideas.
Who do you know who has credibility? What is it about the person that makes you perceive them that way?
I regularly have to establish my credibility at the start of every new training course that I deliver. I tailor the introduction to match the subject matter, which helps to quickly establish credibility with my delegates. This will enhance my chances of influencing their learning.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
Sunday 1 February 2015
How to Influence Others - Building relationships
A Message from Noelyne....
An essential element for influencing others is the quality of the relationships that you have cultivated.
Good relationships = more influence.
You'll have better relationships and support if:
1. Show interest in others, asking about and paying attention to their concerns. Put yourself in their shoes, and ask for or offer help when appropriate.
2. Be respectful to your family, friends and colleagues, treating them as you'd like to be treated yourself. Listen to and encourage them. Show you recognise the value of their contribution. Say thank you and give compliments.
Take time to get to know people and get yourself known. Keep your name on people's mind. Contact friends and colleagues regularly to keep up to date with what's happening in their world. Remember people's names when you meet them. It means a lot!
Enjoy the process of life
Noelyne
P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How To Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com
An essential element for influencing others is the quality of the relationships that you have cultivated.
Good relationships = more influence.
You'll have better relationships and support if:
- Colleagues like working with you
- Friends like spending time with you
- You make whoever you are with feel valued.
1. Show interest in others, asking about and paying attention to their concerns. Put yourself in their shoes, and ask for or offer help when appropriate.
2. Be respectful to your family, friends and colleagues, treating them as you'd like to be treated yourself. Listen to and encourage them. Show you recognise the value of their contribution. Say thank you and give compliments.
Take time to get to know people and get yourself known. Keep your name on people's mind. Contact friends and colleagues regularly to keep up to date with what's happening in their world. Remember people's names when you meet them. It means a lot!
Enjoy the process of life
Noelyne
P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How To Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com
Saturday 31 January 2015
How To Influence Others - The Benefits
A Message from Noelyne....
I'm doing a series of posts on Influencing Skills. This one identifies the benefits of influencing skills and the reasons why you would want to influence others. The skill of influencing works for both personal and professional relationships.
Benefits of influencing skills:
What's your reason for wanting to influence others?
We'll look at building effective relationships next time.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self esteem, enter your name and e-mal in the boxes on the right hand side.
I'm doing a series of posts on Influencing Skills. This one identifies the benefits of influencing skills and the reasons why you would want to influence others. The skill of influencing works for both personal and professional relationships.
Benefits of influencing skills:
- Eliminate resistance to your ideas
- Get work done faster both at home and at work
- Reduce conflict and stress in your relationships
- Demonstrate you're a team player
- Be a better negotiator
- Convince colleagues to help you
- Increase your sales
- Enhance your self-esteem by sharing your ideas and having people listen to you.
- Gain a reputation as someone who is positive, proactive and can get things done.
What's your reason for wanting to influence others?
We'll look at building effective relationships next time.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self esteem, enter your name and e-mal in the boxes on the right hand side.
Friday 30 January 2015
How to Influence Others
A Message from Noelyne....
I'm running a number of Influencing skills courses over the next few weeks so I thought it might be useful to share a few tips with you.
The quality of our relationships is key to the level of our success. Therefore, the ability to influence others in a positive way is vital to achieving the best for all. It's not about always getting what you want, as that would be aggressive behaviour. It's not about letting others have what they want either as that's passive behaviour. I am talking about influencing people in an assertive manner so that everyone wins. It's about collaborating and getting the best for all parties involved. This can apply to any situation including personal relationships, work and business relationships.
The first thing to realise is that you cannot control other people. The only thing you can control is yourself, your own behaviour. So the way you behave is the way you can influence others. You also have to accept that there are things outside your control that may be of concern to you and may affect you, however, you have no control over. I'm thinking things such as legislation, law, the weather, levels of pay, policy and procedures (Of course it depends on your role and position too as the higher up the chain you get then the more influence you may have e.g. an MP is more likely to be able to influence legislation)
So influencing others is all about the way you behave towards others and the decisions you make. And that's where is gets interesting as you can make conscious decisions to influence others. Most retail businesses are constantly trying to influence us to purchase their products through adverts in TV, on-line, social media, post etc etc.
In the workplace you are influencing your team and colleagues to work harder and smarter and to achieve business goals. At home you are influencing your loved ones for all sorts of reasons including doing their fair share of housework, decisions on holiday destinations and what to do at the weekend, even what to watch on TV.
So wouldn't it be great to have a few tips up your sleeve to help achieve your goals more effectively, whilst still getting a win/win for everyone?
I'll be sharing tips over the next few weeks. As a starter you can download a free report on confidence boosting tips by entering your name and e-mail in the boxes on the right hand side of the page.
Enjoy the process of life
Noelyne
P.S. Request your Free Report now by entering your name and email in the boxes provided. Thank you!
I'm running a number of Influencing skills courses over the next few weeks so I thought it might be useful to share a few tips with you.
The quality of our relationships is key to the level of our success. Therefore, the ability to influence others in a positive way is vital to achieving the best for all. It's not about always getting what you want, as that would be aggressive behaviour. It's not about letting others have what they want either as that's passive behaviour. I am talking about influencing people in an assertive manner so that everyone wins. It's about collaborating and getting the best for all parties involved. This can apply to any situation including personal relationships, work and business relationships.
The first thing to realise is that you cannot control other people. The only thing you can control is yourself, your own behaviour. So the way you behave is the way you can influence others. You also have to accept that there are things outside your control that may be of concern to you and may affect you, however, you have no control over. I'm thinking things such as legislation, law, the weather, levels of pay, policy and procedures (Of course it depends on your role and position too as the higher up the chain you get then the more influence you may have e.g. an MP is more likely to be able to influence legislation)
So influencing others is all about the way you behave towards others and the decisions you make. And that's where is gets interesting as you can make conscious decisions to influence others. Most retail businesses are constantly trying to influence us to purchase their products through adverts in TV, on-line, social media, post etc etc.
In the workplace you are influencing your team and colleagues to work harder and smarter and to achieve business goals. At home you are influencing your loved ones for all sorts of reasons including doing their fair share of housework, decisions on holiday destinations and what to do at the weekend, even what to watch on TV.
So wouldn't it be great to have a few tips up your sleeve to help achieve your goals more effectively, whilst still getting a win/win for everyone?
I'll be sharing tips over the next few weeks. As a starter you can download a free report on confidence boosting tips by entering your name and e-mail in the boxes on the right hand side of the page.
Enjoy the process of life
Noelyne
P.S. Request your Free Report now by entering your name and email in the boxes provided. Thank you!
Thursday 29 January 2015
Blogging may be easy to do,it's the desire, persistence and determination that lets you down!
A Message from Noelyne....
I've just read my previous post which I posted when I remembered that I can use my phone to blog. The skill of blogging combined with the ease of access to social media makes keeping in touch very easy. Yet it's nearly 4 months since my last post... So what's that all about.
Desire comes into it. You have to want to do something and it needs to be compelling, a burning desire. There also need to be a strong reason why. What's the reason you want to do whatever you want to do? In my case, what's the reason that I want to blog? What's my burning desire? What compels me to blog?
My reason for blogging was a marketing tool to reach people who could benefit from my particular skills and knowledge. To share my ideas so that others could learn from my mistakes. It was also to share recommended products and receive a small commission for any purchases made as a result of my recommendations. It was also a great way of getting myself noticed, raise my profile as a coach and trainer. Many bloggers make a full time living from blogging and some have become very wealthy.
It's a great way to build a list of people interested in what you do too. I was very successful at that in the early days of blogging as I followed a set process and I was determined and persistent too. Then life challenges happen... other things take priority, my relationship was suffering as I was spending a lot of time delivering training and attached to my laptop. Then my partner had a major op and my health suffered too, so blogging went to the bottom of the list of priorities. Have you ever been in that situation?
I realised that health and close relationships are the most important aspect of my life. They are my top values. Connecting with and helping other people is also important it's just that they are lower down the list. Deciding what's important to you in life affects your decision making. There are many people who would have continued blogging or working hard at the expense of their health and relationships. And that's a life choice. Neither choice is wrong or right. It's about deciding what's most important to you.
And when you've done something before, you know that you can start again, if you really want to. Success in life comes from the quality of the relationships that you have and then the persistence and determination to make it work.
Life's challenges make you that little bit stronger every time. My partner has had two major operations in the past 4 years and he's due to go in for another. I don't want him to go through it again however, I know that he will be so much better and pain free as a result. My role is to stay strong for him and too continue supporting him as much as possible.
I've also been very fortunate over the past three years with the volume of training courses that I have been asked to deliver. Training and Development has been a passion for a significant part of my life. It's something that comes easily and naturally to me and so has been my focus whilst I have had other challenges in my personal life.
Perhaps I'm ready to spread my wings again and step outside my comfort zone and start making new connections....
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Special report and receive regular updates direct to your in box
I've just read my previous post which I posted when I remembered that I can use my phone to blog. The skill of blogging combined with the ease of access to social media makes keeping in touch very easy. Yet it's nearly 4 months since my last post... So what's that all about.
Desire comes into it. You have to want to do something and it needs to be compelling, a burning desire. There also need to be a strong reason why. What's the reason you want to do whatever you want to do? In my case, what's the reason that I want to blog? What's my burning desire? What compels me to blog?
My reason for blogging was a marketing tool to reach people who could benefit from my particular skills and knowledge. To share my ideas so that others could learn from my mistakes. It was also to share recommended products and receive a small commission for any purchases made as a result of my recommendations. It was also a great way of getting myself noticed, raise my profile as a coach and trainer. Many bloggers make a full time living from blogging and some have become very wealthy.
It's a great way to build a list of people interested in what you do too. I was very successful at that in the early days of blogging as I followed a set process and I was determined and persistent too. Then life challenges happen... other things take priority, my relationship was suffering as I was spending a lot of time delivering training and attached to my laptop. Then my partner had a major op and my health suffered too, so blogging went to the bottom of the list of priorities. Have you ever been in that situation?
I realised that health and close relationships are the most important aspect of my life. They are my top values. Connecting with and helping other people is also important it's just that they are lower down the list. Deciding what's important to you in life affects your decision making. There are many people who would have continued blogging or working hard at the expense of their health and relationships. And that's a life choice. Neither choice is wrong or right. It's about deciding what's most important to you.
And when you've done something before, you know that you can start again, if you really want to. Success in life comes from the quality of the relationships that you have and then the persistence and determination to make it work.
Life's challenges make you that little bit stronger every time. My partner has had two major operations in the past 4 years and he's due to go in for another. I don't want him to go through it again however, I know that he will be so much better and pain free as a result. My role is to stay strong for him and too continue supporting him as much as possible.
I've also been very fortunate over the past three years with the volume of training courses that I have been asked to deliver. Training and Development has been a passion for a significant part of my life. It's something that comes easily and naturally to me and so has been my focus whilst I have had other challenges in my personal life.
Perhaps I'm ready to spread my wings again and step outside my comfort zone and start making new connections....
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Special report and receive regular updates direct to your in box
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