How to improve your communication skills

A Message from Noelyne...

There are three elements that make up face to face communication: Visual (Non-verbal or body language), Verbal (Words) and Vocal (Tone of voice). And according to Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of Psychology in face to face spoken communication a large percentage of meaning is taken from the non-verbal part. In fact his research suggests 55% of meaning is taken from non-verbals, 38% from the Tone and 7% the words.

What this means in practise is that if your words, tone and non-verbals are not aligned then the message you are giving could be misinterpreted. The same words said with different tone and body language can convey different meanings. For example, you could be at an interview and be explaining your achievements. If you hesitate or struggle to think of the words and use um's as well as fidgeting and lack of eye contact then no matter what the words you use the interviewer will think you lack confidence and are less likely to believe you.

When someone asks you how you are and you respond with 'I'm fine thanks' with no smile, minimal eye contact and hunched shoulders, then it could be perceived that you are not 'fine'. Expect a follow up question if the person really wants to know how you are really feeling. If someone is not bothered they will just shrug their shoulders and walk away.

The best way to find out about how you are perceived by others when communicating is to get some feedback from people you trust. Ask them to check your non-verbal communication, which includes things like eye contact, posture, gestures, appearance, facial expressions.  If you are preparing to do a presentation then video yourself and watch for the nerves leaking out in your non-verbals. The twiddling with your hair or clicking a pen.

Self-awareness is the first step to becoming an effective communicator. Once you are self-aware you can then manage and control your own behaviour.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self-esteem www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com

How To Influence Others - The Benefits

A Message from Noelyne....

I'm doing a series of posts on Influencing Skills. This one identifies the benefits of influencing skills and the reasons why you would want to influence others.  The skill of influencing works for both personal and professional relationships.

Benefits of influencing skills:

• Eliminate resistance to your ideas
• Get work done faster both at home and at work
• Reduce conflict and stress in your relationships
• Demonstrate you're a team player 
• Be a better negotiator
• Convince colleagues to help you
• Increase your sales
• Enhance your self-esteem by sharing your ideas and having people listen to you.
• Gain a reputation as someone who is positive, proactive and can get things done.

Few people work in isolation so we depend on others in part to get our work done, which is why good influencing skills are important. Success in life depends on the quality of our relationships. The more effective you are at building effective relationships and mastering the skill of influencing, the faster the rate of your success.

What's your reason for wanting to influence others?
We'll look at building effective relationships next time.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self esteem, enter your name and e-mal in the boxes on the right hand side.

Take action to boost confidence

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. 

Dale Carnegie 

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dalecarneg132157.html#WT5g3kTRilPEWGBh.99 

Interview Tips for Teenagers

A Message from Noelyne...

Interview Tips for Teenagers

How much do you really want to be successful at the interview?  What will it give you?  What does it mean to you?  Is this what you really want to be doing in the next stage of your life?  Or are you following a path that your parents have laid out for you?

This is crucial.  If you are doing something just to please your parents and get their approval it will not work out for you.  Your parents will be happy of course and initially this will be enough to keep you motivated however, long term you will end up feeling unhappy with your life.  And that's another key point.  This is your life not your parents.  They are doing their best for you and if you are not bothered about what you do then by all means go along with their plan.  Better that than no plan at all.

However, if there is something that you really want to do then it's far better to follow your own ideas and goals.  I can feel your fear of doing your own thing because you believe your parents will disapprove.  And they could particularly if it doesn't fit their view of how things should be.

Not sure what you really want to be doing?  Then get yourself a good personal development coach who specialises in career choices.

You only get once chance at life so give yourself the best chance by making great decisions now.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. You could consider an on-line personal development programme to get you moving in the best direction for you.  Check The Personal Achievers club here

Interview Tips for Teenagers

A Message from Noelyne...

My focus in this series of blogs is interview tips for teenagers.  One of the key problems is lack of confidence and self-belief, which is understandable given that you rarely get an interview before you become a teenager.  The lack of confidence is often a fear of the unknown and feeling very self conscious.  There is a heightened sense that someone is going to be looking at you and making a judgement on your performance alone.  You are no longer one of the classroom crowd.  You are on your own with this one.  For some young people this can be a very daunting prospect.  You may have the additional pressure of parents who support you in a way that makes you feel threatened and fearful.

What to do to raise your confidence?

Preparation is key.  The better prepared you are the more confident you will feel.  Give yourself plenty of time prior to the interview to do your preparation and planning.

Practice - There's nothing like the experience of an interview to raise your confidence so a fantastic way to do that in advance is to get some interview practice.  If you know someone who has interviewing skills then ask them to do a mock interview with you.  Alternatively, find a local personal development coach who specialises in interviewing skills for teenagers.

Self-belief - Believe that you can perform well at the interview.  Act as if you are already confident at interviews.  This involves visualisation and imagining yourself performing well at the interview.


These are three of the most important points to raise your confidence before going for your first interview.  Although if you have already had an interview you can still benefit from doing the above.

More tips to follow so watch this space!

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Have you considered an on-line confidence programme. Check out The Achiever's club

Do you have the Confidence and Self-belief to follow your Dreams?

Image via Wikipedia

A Message from Noelyne...

I am a great fan of programmes like X Factor and Britain's got talent as it encourages you to follow your dreams which of course resonates with me as that's what I've spent the majority of my life doing, only without the massive budget that Simon Cowell has!

Here is a video of Paul Potts on stage for the first time. It brings tingles to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Gs02ZmUmE

Enjoy!

Noelyne Jones

P.S. If you are fearful of following your dreams request a copy of my Free Special Report for tips on how to overcome your fears. Click here

Fear of Making the Wrong Decision

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A Message from Noelyne.....

Is your lack of succes down to your fear of making the wrong decision?  Are you afraid of making a bad decision and getting things wrong?  Do you ask your friends and family for advice and still not do anything in case you get it wrong?  Are you afraid to follow your instincts because other people in your life are telling you not to be so stupid?  And you fear that if you do follow your instincts those people will then just say 'Well I told you so!'.

Many people who come to me for Coaching have got themsleves stuck in a vicious circle of indecision.  Some have never been able to make decisions and have lacked confidence all their lives so have not reached their full potential and often end up doing what other people think is good for them .  Others were once very confident and sure of themselves, made decisions easily and got what they wanted in life until something or someone entered their life.  It can be a life event such as bereavement, divorce, redundancy or illnes.  Or it can be a person such as a new friend or new family member or in-law.

Life events can take their toll on your self-esteem.  You lose confidence and self-belief and you lose sight of any dreams and aspirations that you once had so decision making becomes difficult.

A significant person in your life who constantly puts you down and belittles you in front of the rest of your family, children and friends will over time chip away at your confidence and self esteem.  You will start to avoid being in this persons company and make excuses not to be around them.  With some people you will be able to cut them from your life completely but with others that is not always an option.  For example a mother-in-law who does not like a new daughter-in-law will perhaps do everything possible to make their life difficult.  If you are not aware of what's happening the standard of your behaviour towards the mother-in-law will drop.  Behaviour breeds behaviour.  Until such time as something or someone changes.  If the daughter-in-law is not supported by their husband this will make the situation worse.  Over time both relationships will deteriorate.

This one person or one event will affect the whole of your life.  If you are not aware of it your confidence and self-esteem will decrease and your fear of making wrong or bad decisions will increase.  If any of this sounds familiar then now is the time to stop it from continuing to make your life a misery.

Request a copy of my Free Special Report for some instant tips on how to overcome your fears.  If you like what you read then ask me for details of my Membership club where I show you how to break out of the fear of making wrong decisions.  I show you how to stop the negative people in your life from influencing your decisions.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here

Self esteem Questionnaire

A Message from Noelyne....

If you want to feel good about yourself and improve your confidence so that you are able to handle whatever happens then you are in the right place. My passion in life is to share the lessons that I have learned as a result of the experiences in my life with you so that you avoid making the mistakes that I have made.

I have regained my confidence and belief in life so much so that I now run my own business and have created a wonderful fulfilling life. However, it has not always been like that. Over 10 years ago I hit rock bottom after a third IVF attempt resulted in a life threatening ectopic pregnancy. With huge support from my wonderful family and friends I slowly pulled myself back together. However, it took it's toll on my marriage which eventually ended in divorce. With no children of my own and no husband I felt a complete failure as a woman. 

Has your self-esteem taking a hammering so much that you don't realise that you have low self-esteem?
Realising that you have low-self esteem can be quite a revelation and can totally explain what is happening in your  life in terms of the results you are not getting .  Once you are aware you can change it!  Awareness is the key. It's almost like putting a label on something, it helps you make sense of the situation and enables you to take action.

Once you diagnose which areas are causing the problem you can set about making improvements including the way you feel about yourself.  Here's a self-assessment questionnaire to get you started.  With any questionnaires it's always best to be honest with yourself to get the best effect.

Do you think positively or negatively about your impact on others?

When communicating, do you ever anticipate what others might be thinking about you?

How does stress manifest itself with you?

Do you control your stress levels when anxious?

When do you feel at your most confident?

When do you feel at your least confident?

Do you sometimes feel self-conscious?

Do you feel comfortable with how you look?

Which are you more aware of: your strengths or your weaknesses?

Do you feel powerful?  If so, when?

Are you aware of your inner critic?

When do you feel at your best?

Do you prepare yourself mentally, physically and emotionally before communicating?

Do you focus on the other person or people when communicating?

The way you present yourself to the world starts with how you feel about yourself.  Answering these questions will help you understand wether and where you need to make changes.  If you need help with any of that then you can contact me via the link below.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Get a copy of my Free Special Report now Click here

One Minute Personal Alignment Check Tool

A Message from Noelyne...

In the busy-ness of our day-to-day lives, it is all too easy to slip into routines or get distracted in such a way that we are not tending to the really important things. This can leave us feeling empty, disconnected from our passion, and unable to accomplish what would be truly fulfilling. If left unchecked long-term your self-esteem will take a bashing and without realising you will no longer value yourself, which leads to low confidence and self-esteem.

To help my clients keep in touch with what is really important to them, and ensure that their thoughts, feelings and actions line up with the intention and impact they desire, I often share a simple "Alignment Check" tool.
It starts by getting clear on your intention. What are you attempting to accomplish in your life, career, or business at this time? If you are a leader in an organization, you might have an intention of fostering an environment of mutual respect where individuals are highly engaged in accomplishing collaborative goals. If you are a parent, you might have the intention of providing a loving, encouraging, fun home to help develop your children. If you are currently under high levels of stress, your intention might be to establish better balance in your life.

Once you have a clear intention, you are able to perform the alignment check. To do so simply pause, and take 3 breaths. (This brings you back into the present moment, and slows down your thoughts.)
Then:

• Remind yourself what your intention is
• Ask yourself if your current thoughts are in alignment with this intention?
• Ask if your current feelings or mood, are in alignment with your intention?
• Is the action you are now taking in alignment?
• Are the results you are getting in alignment with your intention?

This whole process can be done in less than a minute. As simple as it is, it can be a powerful tool to keep your energies focused on the outcome you most want.

The clearer your intention, and the greater your alignment, the more powerful your results.

A quick and easy way to overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed and off track. It gets you back to calm, clear thinking and refocuses your efforts and activities on the key areas of your life.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report How Easily to Overcome Your Fears Click here

How to Overcome Anything Toolkit - Thoughts

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A Message from Noelyne...

Your thoughts are the most powerful resource that you have for overcoming life's challenges and getting what you want.  They are the one thing you have control over.  I know that sometimes it doesn't feel that way particularly when you are stressed and/or feeling low, or when the your world seems to overwhelm you however, you do have a choice about what thoughts you have.

If you are a fan of TUT's Adventurers club www.tut.com then you will understand what I mean when I say 'Thoughts become Things'.  I recommend that you have a look at the site and sign up for Free daily notes from the Universe.  They really brighten up your day and put you in a good frame of mind.

The thoughts you have now today will create the future that you have tomorrow.  When you believe this you will start to understand the importance of choosing good thoughts now.

Another of my favourite quotes is 'What the mind can conceive and the heart can believe then you can achieve'.  If you think you can do somethine, then truly believe that you can, you will achieve it.  It all starts with a thought.

What thoughts are you going to choose today?  What future do you want?  Start choosing those good thoughts now.  Choose thoughts that will help you start to move towards overcoming your challenges so that you can get the life that you want.  If you want to be more confident you need to start by thinking that you can.

I cover this in more detail in my membership site lessons which I will be announcing soon.  So drop by regularly for updates and if you want to recieve the opening offers why not sign up for my Free Special Report so that you get the news first hand.

The report is packed full of infornation on how to overcome your fears so you have everything to gain.
Go to www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com to claim your report now.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for the Free Special Report here

How to Overcome Anything - Strengths

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A Message from Noelyne...

In my experience people will always be picked up for the things they didn't do well, the mistakes, the errors and the weaknesses?

Most employees will find out fairly soon when they have done something wrong or not come up to the standard required.

Many people focus on their weaknesses and what's wrong with their skills and ability.  This means you are constantly focusing on the negatives, the areas for improvement, the missings.

When was the last time you were given praise for a job well done or complimented for a task that you achieved?  When was the last time you received feedback on the activities that you are really good at?  It's recognised that Manager's in general fear giving feedback and are reluctant to do it for many reasons such as dealing with advserse reactions or maybe a lack of confidence.

You may be in some of the 30% of people who are lucky enough to have people around them who do give praise and feedback on both good and poor performance.  If you are not then this message is made for you.

From now on I encourage you to:

• Focus on your strengths.  Make a list of what you are good at, all your talents and abilities.  Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things you have done well in your life.

• Keep a success diary each week so that you can refer to it as a confidence booster.

• Develop the strengths that you already have.  Do what you are good at and like to do.  If you can find a job, career or business that uses your talents and abilities then you won't have to worry about the weaknesses, they will just disappear into insignificance.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. To overcome your fears request a copy of my Free Special Report