How to forgive and forget

Asking For Forgiveness (Photo credit: hang_in_there)

A Message from Noelyne....
Do you still feel hurt as a result of what someone close has done to you?  Maybe a family member or friend betrayed you?  Do you feel resentment towards someone because they let you down? Every time you think of them you feel hurt, or anger or upset.  In fact you find it difficult to get this person out of your mind and find yourself dwelling on what happened.  You may even feel rejected and unloved.  And what’s worse is that the person concerned seems to be getting on with their lives as if nothing happened.

Does this resonate with you?

It’s not easy to come to terms with a breakdown in a relationship particularly if the other person made the choice to do what they did. The trust that you once had for this person will have gone completely and it’s not easy to learn to trust that person again for fear that they will repeat the behaviour and you will end up feeling hurt again.

The problem with feeling hurt or resentment or anger about the situation is that the only person who is being affected is you.  By re-living the experience day after day you are keeping what happened in the past alive in the present.  You are allowing that negative experience to affect you now.  The thoughts that you have now not only create your current reality they also create your future.  What you focus on expands.  You are creating more negativity in your life.

How to break the pattern

1. You need to want to move on.
2. Write a letter to the person telling them how you feel, write down all the things you would like to say to them, really allow all your emotions and thoughts to flow out onto the paper.  Once the letter is written you can burn it.  You are not going to actually send it to the person.  This works really well for people who have passed away and you didn’t get a chance to speak with them.
3. To be able to move on you need to forgive the person.  Straight away I hear you saying ‘There’s no way I can forgive’.  And if you feel strongly about that then Yes you are absolutely right, you won’t choose to forgive and you will stay stuck where you are.  Forgiveness is that powerful.  Let me explain I am not asking you to actually speak to the person concerned, although you can if you wish.  The first step is to forgive the person in your mind and then out loud.  Says the words and then let go.
4. Repeat the process if necessary.
5. Choose to think positive thoughts about your life.  Start to dream of the life that you want.

It’s time for you to stop allowing that person to continue to influence your life in a negative way.


It's time for you to enjoy the process of life,



Noelyne
P.S. Sign up for my Free Report to Boost Your Confidence Now. Just enter your name and e-mail in the boxes for instant download.

A Message from Noelyne...

How do you react if someone over steps your boundaries or makes an inappropriate comment towards you?   Do you feel anxious or awkward?  Do you get upset inside and tight lipped?  Does your jaw clench together?

Do you ignore your body and feel shocked by someone’s poor behaviour that you fail to address it?  Do you swallow your anger and suppress your feelings?  Do you remain silent and then end up giving yourself a hard time for not answering back or saying something?

If someone is nasty or rude to you and you fail to take action, you give other people permission to treat you badly.   Doing this will eat away at your self esteem and will often lead you feeling resentful and hurt.

Do you feel really uncomfortable in speaking up?  Were you taught that keeping your mouth shut was in fact a safer option?  Do you fail to speak up because you fear the other person will think badly of you or they may end up hurting their feelings?  Well what about your own feelings?  If you are too sensitive to other people’s feelings, you are actually being insensitive to your own.   Standing up for yourself and using you voice is a great way to empower yourself and show other people how you deserve to be treated.


Would you like to feel confident and speak up the next time someone says something to you that is unacceptable?  Check out my on-line Personal Development Programme, guaranteed to help you set your boundaries and stop anyone crossing them ever again.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Why not request a copy of my Free Special Report to get you started now.  Click Here

Is your past holding you back?

A Message from Noelyne...

Do you continue to punish yourself for things which have happened in the past?  Do you carry bad feelings around with you like painful baggage for years and years?  Do you deny yourself the life you truly deserve because you believe you don’t deserve good things?

Many of the people I work with in my coaching practice come to me because they want to be more successful, more confident and get what they want in life.  And I can guarantee that for each one it will be something from their past that is holding them back.  Is your past holding you back?

To be successful you need to let go of your past and start with a clean slate for today, in order to have a fantastic new future.   It’s just like planting a new garden – you have to remove some of the debris, stones and old weeds. 'Getting rid of the old to make room for the new'.  Then start planting seeds.

In my achiever's club I have lessons dedicate to letting go of the past.  Part of this is forgiving yourself and others for past events.  Doing this will make it much easier to move forward into the future. It helps you to build a solid new foundation to create the life you truly want to live.    It's not easy to create the wonderful new life you desire if you are holding on to past experiences and resentment for what has happened.  When you focus on painful relationships, broken agreements and unresolved issues you are reliving those feelings and allowing the past to exist now.

If you don’t clean up your past and make peace with it you cause emotions such as hopelessness, resentment, sarcasm, cynicism, loneliness, or emptiness.

Are you so attached to what happened in the past that you really don’t want to let it go?  Perhaps it is because you have longed for some resolution, an apology or a different outcome.  And so, instead of letting go and moving on, you choose to hold onto your pain, your grudges as you don’t want to give up on what you believe you are owed.  The problem with this approach is that if you need someone else to do something before you have closure, there is a good chance that you will never get it!  The other person probably moved on long ago and is creating a new life for themselves.  By holding on to past resentment you are continuing to allow the other person to have power over you.  The only person who suffers is you.  Are you giving this person the power to rule your life?

Holding onto your past is like collecting news paper articles from 10, 20,30, years ago and carrying them with you wherever you go.  Would you choose to read these newspapers every day going over each upsetting story in your head over and over again? Would you carry these papers with you from job to job, relationship to relationship? Would you repeat the stories in these newspapers to your friends over and over again?
If you would like to know more about letting go of your past why not check out my Achievers club here

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report to Overcome Your Fears in 7 Days

Starting Over Without Him 9

Image via Wikipedia

A Message from Noelyne....


It's very easy when you have just come out of a long term relationship and you are starting over without him, to allow anger and resentment about what has happened to occupy your mind most of the time.  It's OK to feel angry about the breakdown of a relationship that you thought was going to last forever.  There's bound to be some resentment flying around too.  These are quite normal emotions.  However, if you hold onto that anger and resentment for too long the only person who suffers is you.  You turn yourself into a victim, your physiology and approach to life is affected every time you feel the anger and resentment and eventually you are no longer the sort of person people want to be around.

Tip 9 - Learn to let go of the anger and resentment.


So go ahead and get angry, scream and shout and thump the pillows and get it out of your system and then LET GO of the anger and resentment.  That way you can choose to start to feel happy about starting all over.  When you are happy and content with yourself, your physiology changes and you become more attractive again.  New things and experiences and new people will come into your life.  It might take a while before you remember to choose to be happy however, every time you catch yourself dwelling on the past, stop the thought and focus on something else.  Go do something you love to do and put your mind to more resourceful thoughts.


If you want more tips on overcoming life's challenges check my on-line membership club here


Enjoy the process of life,


Noelyne Jones

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here