Your body language shapes who you are

In need of a confidence boost, then watch this for some simple tips....

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How to improve your communication skills

A Message from Noelyne...

There are three elements that make up face to face communication: Visual (Non-verbal or body language), Verbal (Words) and Vocal (Tone of voice). And according to Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of Psychology in face to face spoken communication a large percentage of meaning is taken from the non-verbal part. In fact his research suggests 55% of meaning is taken from non-verbals, 38% from the Tone and 7% the words.

What this means in practise is that if your words, tone and non-verbals are not aligned then the message you are giving could be misinterpreted. The same words said with different tone and body language can convey different meanings. For example, you could be at an interview and be explaining your achievements. If you hesitate or struggle to think of the words and use um's as well as fidgeting and lack of eye contact then no matter what the words you use the interviewer will think you lack confidence and are less likely to believe you.

When someone asks you how you are and you respond with 'I'm fine thanks' with no smile, minimal eye contact and hunched shoulders, then it could be perceived that you are not 'fine'. Expect a follow up question if the person really wants to know how you are really feeling. If someone is not bothered they will just shrug their shoulders and walk away.

The best way to find out about how you are perceived by others when communicating is to get some feedback from people you trust. Ask them to check your non-verbal communication, which includes things like eye contact, posture, gestures, appearance, facial expressions.  If you are preparing to do a presentation then video yourself and watch for the nerves leaking out in your non-verbals. The twiddling with your hair or clicking a pen.

Self-awareness is the first step to becoming an effective communicator. Once you are self-aware you can then manage and control your own behaviour.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self-esteem www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com

How to Influence Others - Cialdini's 6 sources of influence

A Message from Noelyne...

When it comes to Influence, Robert Cialdini is a well known expert and author on the topic. In his book 'Influence - The Power of Persuasion' he introduces his 6 Rules of Influencing.

Reciprocation:
If you do something for someone, they are likely to feel better about doing something for you in return. They might even feel obliged to help you in future.

Commitment and Consistency:
Once people make a commitment then they are less likely to change their mind due to the desire to be consistent which seems to be in built in us.  People don't want to lose face particularly where they have made a public commitment. That's why you are encouraged to write goals down to increase the likelihood of achievement.

Social Proof:
When people see others doing something, they feel better about doing it themselves. It's a bit like the lemmings scenario.

Liking:
People respond well to people they like.

Authority:
 People react positively to authority figures if they respect them.

Scarcity:
People are more interested in things that are difficult to obtain or might run out. That's why you see so many adverts stating that time is running out. Buy now while stocks last. This offer will not be repeated again! Special price for the first 20 people only! etc etc

Consider how you might be able to use these rules to enhance your influencing skills.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How to Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com

How to Influence Others - Perception

A Message from Noelyne....

What is perception?
 Most will say it's about the way you see something.

Perception is accomplished by taking information in through all of our senses and using this information to interpret the situation, recognise potential threats and decide how best to proceed.

How might peoples' perceptions of you impact your ability to influence them?

If they perceive you to be influential, they may be more likely to go along with your ideas. If they like you, they might be more likely to believe you. If you value the same things, they might be more inclined to listen to you.

Everyone has influence. Some influence people unintentionally and others influence people intentionally. Those with a greater degree of self-awareness are able to identify how they are perceived by other people and how to change those perceptions when necessary. This is a vital skill when your aim is to influence people in specific ways.

What do you see?

Some will see a vase or cup first, others will see the profiles of two people facing each other. We take in the information through our senses and interpret it's meaning.  This will be different for different people.

Two people going through the same experience will often have different stories to tell. Each will have taken in information in different ways, will have noticed different things and created different meanings. A lot will depend on past experience, also values and beliefs. When someone has had a bad past experience in a similar situation to the one they are now facing, it will often affect their perception of the current situation creating a negative meaning.  This can be evident when people are going through change. If there is strong resistance it could be due to previous bad experiences of change.

How do others perceive you?  If you are not sure then you need to ask some people you know and trust for some feedback.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report by completing your name and email in the boxes provided on the right hand side of the blog.

How To Influence Others - Building Credibility

A Message from Noelyne....

If you want to influence others then it helps enormously if you have a high level of credibility. People are more likely to listen to someone who knows what they are talking about, sounds as they know what they are talking about and has experience in the subject. It's all about how others perceive you. Are you seen as credible? Are you regarded as a person of integrity? Once you have established your credibility it will enhance the chances of influencing others and get the results you want.

So how do you establish credibility?


4 ways to build credibility are:

Honour confidentiality: An important step in gaining a trustworthy reputation. When someone confides in you, respect that confidence and don't blab to others.

Deliver on your promises: Reliability helps establish a reputation. When you say you are going to do something...Do It! Always follow through.

Accept responsibility: Acknowledge your mistakes, don't blame others and give others credit where it is due. Taking credit for the achievements of others in a sign of weakness and insecurity. You will gain respect from many more by highlighting the achievements of others.

Strengthen your expertise: Continue to grow and develop in your roles in life. Learn new skills and keep up to date with the latest knowledge and ideas.

Who do you know who has credibility? What is it about the person that makes you perceive them that way?

I regularly have to establish my credibility at the start of every new training course that I deliver. I tailor the introduction to match the subject matter, which helps to quickly establish credibility with my delegates.  This will enhance my chances of influencing their learning.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

How to Influence Others - Building relationships

A Message from Noelyne....

An essential element for influencing others is the quality of the relationships that you have cultivated.

Good relationships = more influence.

You'll have better relationships and support if:

• Colleagues like working with you 
• Friends like spending time with you
• You make whoever you are with feel valued.

Steps to cultivating better relationships:

1. Show interest in others, asking about and paying attention to their concerns. Put yourself in their shoes, and ask for or offer help when appropriate.
2. Be respectful to your family, friends and colleagues, treating them as you'd like to be treated yourself. Listen to and encourage them. Show you recognise the value of their contribution. Say thank you and give compliments.

Take time to get to know people and get yourself known. Keep your name on people's mind. Contact friends and colleagues regularly to keep up to date with what's happening in their world. Remember people's names when you meet them. It means a lot!

Enjoy the process of life

Noelyne

P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How To Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com

How To Influence Others - The Benefits

A Message from Noelyne....

I'm doing a series of posts on Influencing Skills. This one identifies the benefits of influencing skills and the reasons why you would want to influence others.  The skill of influencing works for both personal and professional relationships.

Benefits of influencing skills:

• Eliminate resistance to your ideas
• Get work done faster both at home and at work
• Reduce conflict and stress in your relationships
• Demonstrate you're a team player 
• Be a better negotiator
• Convince colleagues to help you
• Increase your sales
• Enhance your self-esteem by sharing your ideas and having people listen to you.
• Gain a reputation as someone who is positive, proactive and can get things done.

Few people work in isolation so we depend on others in part to get our work done, which is why good influencing skills are important. Success in life depends on the quality of our relationships. The more effective you are at building effective relationships and mastering the skill of influencing, the faster the rate of your success.

What's your reason for wanting to influence others?
We'll look at building effective relationships next time.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self esteem, enter your name and e-mal in the boxes on the right hand side.

How to Influence Others

A Message from Noelyne....

I'm running a number of Influencing skills courses over the next few weeks so I thought it might be useful to share a few tips with you.

The quality of our relationships is key to the level of our success. Therefore, the ability to influence others in a positive way is vital to achieving the best for all. It's not about always getting what you want, as that would be aggressive behaviour. It's not about letting others have what they want either as that's passive behaviour. I am talking about influencing people in an assertive manner so that everyone wins. It's about collaborating and getting the best for all parties involved.  This can apply to any situation including personal relationships, work  and business relationships.

The first thing to realise is that you cannot control other people.  The only thing you can control is yourself, your own behaviour.  So the way you behave is the way you can influence others.  You also have to accept that there are things outside your control that may be of concern to you and may affect you, however, you have no control over. I'm thinking things such as legislation, law, the weather, levels of pay, policy and procedures (Of course it depends on your role and position too as the higher up the chain you get then the more influence you may have e.g. an MP is more likely to be able to influence legislation)

So influencing others is all about the way you behave towards others and the decisions you make. And that's where is gets interesting as you can make conscious decisions to influence others.  Most retail businesses are constantly trying to influence us to purchase their products through adverts in TV, on-line, social media, post etc etc.


In the workplace you are influencing your team and colleagues to work harder and smarter and to achieve business goals.  At home you are influencing your loved ones for all sorts of reasons including doing their fair share of housework, decisions on holiday destinations and what to do at the weekend, even what to watch on TV.

So wouldn't it be great to have a few tips up your sleeve to help achieve your goals more effectively, whilst still getting a win/win for everyone?

I'll be sharing tips over the next few weeks. As a starter you can download a free report on confidence boosting tips by entering your name and e-mail in the boxes on the right hand side of the page.

Enjoy the process of life

Noelyne

P.S. Request your Free Report now by entering your name and email in the boxes provided. Thank you!

Blogging may be easy to do,it's the desire, persistence and determination that lets you down!

A Message from Noelyne....

I've just read my previous post which I posted when I remembered that I can use my phone to blog. The skill of blogging combined with the ease of access to social media makes keeping in touch very easy. Yet it's nearly 4 months since my last post... So what's that all about.

Desire comes into it. You have to want to do something and it needs to be compelling, a burning desire. There also need to be a strong reason why. What's the reason you want to do whatever you want to do? In my case, what's the reason that I want to blog? What's my burning desire? What compels me to blog?

My reason for blogging was a marketing tool to reach people who could benefit from my particular skills and knowledge. To share my ideas so that others could learn from my mistakes. It was also to share recommended products and receive a small commission for any purchases made as a result of my recommendations. It was also a great way of getting myself noticed, raise my profile as a coach and trainer.  Many bloggers make a full time living from blogging and some have become very wealthy.

It's a great way to build a list of people interested in what you do too. I was very successful at that in the early days of blogging as I followed a set process and I was determined and persistent too. Then life challenges happen... other things take priority, my relationship was suffering as I was spending a lot of time delivering training and attached to my laptop. Then my partner had a major op and my health suffered too, so blogging went to the bottom of the list of priorities. Have you ever been in that situation?

I realised that health and close relationships are the most important aspect of my life. They are my top values. Connecting with and helping other people is also important it's just that they are lower down the list.  Deciding what's important to you in life affects your decision making.  There are many people who would have continued blogging or working hard at the expense of their health and relationships. And that's a life choice. Neither choice is wrong or right. It's about deciding what's most important to you.

And when you've done something before, you know that you can start again, if you really want to.  Success in life comes from the quality of the relationships that you have and then the persistence and determination to make it work.

Life's challenges make you that little bit stronger every time. My partner has had two major operations in the past 4 years and he's due to go in for another. I don't want him to go through it again however, I know that he will be so much better and pain free as a result. My role is to stay strong for him and too continue supporting him as much as possible.

I've also been very fortunate over the past three years with the volume of training courses that I have been asked to deliver. Training and Development has been a passion for a significant part of my life. It's something that comes easily and naturally to me and so has been my focus whilst I have had other challenges in my personal life.

Perhaps I'm ready to spread my wings again and step outside my comfort zone and start making new connections....

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special report and receive regular updates direct to your in box

Blogging is easy!

A message from Noelyne!

There is absolutely no excuse not to keep up to date on-line. Smart phones, iPads, wifi etc all make it very straightforward. Knowledge is key though. When you know about it, then learn how to do it, you can actually do it!

Kind regards,

Noelyne

Noelyne Jones Ltd

Training and Information Providers

P.S. Claim your copy of my Special Report 'How to Instantly Boost Your Confidence & Self-esteem' at www.noelynejones.com

Sent from my iPad

Deciding what to focus on in life?

A Message from Noelyne,

One of my favourite sayings throughout my life has been 'Variety is the spice of life', which is all well and good when you are growing up and trying out new things and exploring what you like to do and don't like to do. It's great for decisions about holiday and leisure activities.  It's good to have friends from a diverse background.

When it comes to business building I've found that my desire to try lots of different things has held me back in terms of achieving success. Since becoming self-employed in 2007 I have focused on Training as the mainstay of my business and I've been fortunate to be very successful with volumes of work since then and even during the recession I remained very busy. Work seems to flow to me which I am very thankful for.

Delivering training courses is one of my passions and I receive great feedback from the majority of people. My problem is that I am a business operator rather than a business owner. In other words I am what people buy and if I don't turn up then I don't get paid. I am still exchanging time for money. Yes I'm my own boss and I get to decide when and where I work. Yes that means I can take the whole summer off and work 2 to 3 days or more a week or less a week.  It's a wonderful life, Thank you!

What I would really really like to do is build a business that pays me even when I am not there. A business owner!  This is where my desire to try different things and my lack of focus on one thing has let me down. I've had success with the projects I've tried however, it's taken a lot of time and effort and the return has been minimal. So each time I've learned lots and then given up.  It's amazing how easy it is to find reasons not to continue doing something when it's not going as well as you'd hoped.  Family commitments, friends, health, negative thoughts - it's no use, it won't work etc etc.

The people who succeed keep going no matter what. They have total belief in what they do and are passionate about sharing their products and services. They believe in themselves and the product. They keep going even when the going gets tough, and it does. They take risks and have total faith that all will be well.

So I'm yet again evaluating what to focus on in my business life. What exactly is my niche? Who do I want to work with? What's my purpose? What can I offer? What problem or pain can I solve?

My desire to try different areas has given me a wealth of information and skills. Some of these I can class myself as expert however, the majority I am little more than beginner. For example, in the world of internet marketing. I had a Twitter and Facebook account many years before people had even heard of them and certainly before they became so essential for marketing and advertising. I just didn't believe the hype that was around back then, I had too much suspicion and not enough risk taking in my blood.

The key now is to learn from those mistakes. It's never too late!  Onwards and upwards, I can do this!

Enjoy the process of life!

Noelyne

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Report on How To Boost Your Confidence and Self esteem by entering your details in the boxes over there ----->

If You Keep Putting Off Making Decisions Then This Video Is A Must Watch

Hello from Noelyne,

If you have ever procrastinated in your life then you know what it feels like to think if only I had done that earlier. If only I had made the decision when I thought about it. If only I had taken that opportunity when it was presented to me...  Watch this video to overcome procrastination and get motivated now.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

10 Important Travelling Companions For The Journey To Your Dreams

1. Confidence
2. Patience
3. An adjustable attitude
4. Beauty
5. Excitement
6. Fun
7. Companionship
8. Health
9. Peace
10. Love

Barbara Cage

May 2014 be an amazing time and your best year yet!

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

Do You Have Any Regrets?

A Message from Noelyne...

I was sitting in the garden yesterday evening enjoying a glass of wine and the wonderful weather.  It's been so long since we have been able to sit out until 10pm in the UK.  You have to take advantage of the opportunity when it happens.  Whilst we were chatting my partner asked me if I regretted any of my decisions in life...

I initially thought about my decision to join the civil service but then realised that the decision I most regretted was when I was 16.  I used to be very good at sport particularly athletics and I had the opportunity to represent my County at Hurdles in the National Athletics competition.  The problem was that it was on a Saturday and I also had a Saturday job which I wanted to keep.  There was a lot of competition for the jobs at this particular store.  Money was also very tight in our family so the income was fantastic for me.

My sports teacher was very keen for me to attend the athletics and even wrote a letter to my employer...however, my employer said that if I took a day off I would lose my position. So I chose not to go to the athletics.  I kept my job.

However, I will never ever know if I was good enough to represent my country at Hurdles and what this could have led onto as a career.  I was passionate about sport yet not confident enough to make good decisions.  I allowed my fear of losing a job and not having an income to prevent me from following my passion.

There's the lesson.  Whatever decision you are about to make follow your heart.  If you are passionate about something then do it.  You might want to ask yourself the question: 'In ten years time will I regret doing or not doing this...?'

Learn from my mistake and make sure you don't have any regrets.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. sign up for my FREE REPORT on How To Be Confident Now.

How To Control Emotions

Hello,

I've recently been on holiday with my 79 year old Mum, who like most elderly Mum's never want to be a bother or cause any fuss... So why is it so stressful and why so I struggle to control my emotions when I am with her.  I find myself getting annoyed or irritated by her behaviour.  When she tries her best not to make a fuss it actually increases my frustration.  I do my best not to show my feelings as I don't want to upset her and end up feeling sad myself.  It's been the same every time I spend a full week with her.

Thankfully for me I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer called 'Never Give Up'.  I was attracted to this book as I've had a tendency to start things and then not finish them. It was an ideal book for me and I learned a considerable amount about the importance of persistence and continuing to take action when you totally believe in what you are doing.

In one of the chapters it referred to the situation I have just described about how I feel when I am with my Mum.  The advice given is that when you feel a negative emotion towards someone you need to look within yourself for the reason for the emotion.  I cannot start to tell you how powerful this is. It made me break the habit I had got into of blaming my Mum for her behaviour.  Instead I looked at why I was irritated with the way she behaves and I can tell you that I uncovered some of my own fears and beliefs about myself, my own behaviour.  It also made me face up to how I still feel about significant life events that happened when I was a child.  I was quite amazed! I thought I had dealt with all that stuff particularly am I am a personal development expert!  From then on the moment I started to feel a negative emotion towards my Mum I asked myself the question "What's causing this within me?" Not only did that thought stop the negative emotion it freed me up to be happy. 

And of course, it all had an impact on my Mum.  Behaviour breeds behaviour.  My behaviour had changed which affected her. 

To end a long story... we had a very enjoyable holiday!

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. She wants to go to Crete and Turkey next year now!!

How To Overcome Life's Challenges - e-book RELEASE!

At last... I've released the book many of you have been asking me to write for a long time. It's available as an e-book for immediate download here or you can order a printed version, details below.

The book contains proven steps that will build your confidence and self-esteem and free you up to get the life that you want. You will discover what's been holding you back and how to stop being afraid and finally achieve your dreams. You will be able to overcome your fears and anxiety, feel motivated to take action, smash those negative thoughts and finally have a positive outlook on life. Enjoy good relationships, feel happy and good about yourself and be even more successful.

Yes it is all possible. You'll also get to know a little of my story too and how I transformed my life from a shy, self-conscious civil servant to running my own international business and a few of the challenges that I overcame along the way.

You can have a copy now for only £8.95 by clicking the button below.

And what's more if you have any questions about the content of the book please contact my via the form at the bottom of the website. 

Enjoy the process of life, 

Noelyne Jones

P.S. To order a paper back copy of the book please click here

 

Breaking news!

A Message from Noelyne...

At last I have finally got around to writing my first book which is titled 'How to Overcome Life's Challenges'.  Sorry about the title, it just seemed to sum up my experiences in life.  Anyway, the book takes you through a step by step mini-course on how to overcome your fears and have the life of your dreams.

It will show you how to be more confident in any situation and gives you a blueprint for success... a kind of day by day plan of how to turn your life around completely and live the life of your dreams.

Imagine feeling totally confident now, feeling completely happy and at ease with yourself, moving to your dream house, getting that job you have always wanted, enjoying fantastic relationships... The book will show you how to achieve all of this.

And it's going to be available very soon.  I'll be letting you know shortly when it's due to be published and how you can get hold of a copy.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Remember to get a copy of my Free Report which gives you a preview of what's in the book. 

4 Secrets To Leadership Success

Keynote speaker Chris Hyman, CEO SERCO.

Passion

Compassion

Empathy

Courage

In his speech at the HTB Leadership conference Chris Hyman, survivor of 7/11, and mega successful CEO of SERCO described his 4 key areas for success in leadership.

 

Leadership Tips From A Mega Successful Church Leader

I recently attended an international seminar for leaders where one of the key speakers was Bill Hybels, Founder and Senior Pastor at Willow Creek Church Illinois.  Here are the key messages that I took away:

1. Vision casting creates passion

Sometimes it's not easy to get people to buy into the vision so you need to flip it and build a case of why we can't stay here.

2. Leaders build teams to achieve the vision

 The 5 C's of what leaders need to look for when recruiting.

Character

Competence

Chemistry

Culture of organisation and fit of individual

Calling to the purpose of the organisation keeps you in the game

It's about moving from Good to better to great to fantastic.

Stay faithful. 

3. Do regular reviews of your staff.  Ask yourself...

Who could you not afford to lose? Consider the people at the bottom of the list and ask yourself what's causing them to be there?  Is it them?  Is it you?  Are they being sufficiently challenged?  Are the over or under challenged?

4.  Challenge. 

High achievers kept under challenged will leave. Seriously over challenged will go sick.

Appropriately challenged will plod along so the best performance is achieved when people are just above

appropriately challenged.

5. Self leadership

When you are on empty it's your job to replenish yourself. 

Patience, vision, humour and fun.

Leaderships Tips For Team Success

I've recently attended the HTB Leadership conference at the Albert Hall where I was fortunate to listen to many inspirational speakers from the business world.  One such speaker was Patrick Lencioni, President of The Table Group, a Management Consulting firm based in America.  He spoke about his most recent book the 5 Dysfunctions of a team and I have captured the main points here for you:

The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team

1. Absence of Trust

 - vulnerability based trust

- 1 member of team cannot be vulnerable it will spread like a virus. The leader needs to go first!

2. Fear of Conflict

Make sure your team are not holding back.

Failing to disagree is dooming that relationship to failure.

3. Lack of commitment

Waiting for Consensus not good. Takes too long. Disagree then commit. Rarely get natural consensus.  leaders Need to break the tie. If people don't disagree they don't commit they passively agree then go back to their departments and say 'I'm not sure if that will work'

4. Avoidance of Accountability 

Where this is no commitment people will not hold each other accountable.  Where there is no accountability for behaviours there is a dysfunctional team. Behavioural accountability - leaders don't do this! They do hold them accountable for the numbers.

If you love someone hold them accountable.

5. In attention to results - focus on collective results