How to improve your communication skills

A Message from Noelyne...

There are three elements that make up face to face communication: Visual (Non-verbal or body language), Verbal (Words) and Vocal (Tone of voice). And according to Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of Psychology in face to face spoken communication a large percentage of meaning is taken from the non-verbal part. In fact his research suggests 55% of meaning is taken from non-verbals, 38% from the Tone and 7% the words.

What this means in practise is that if your words, tone and non-verbals are not aligned then the message you are giving could be misinterpreted. The same words said with different tone and body language can convey different meanings. For example, you could be at an interview and be explaining your achievements. If you hesitate or struggle to think of the words and use um's as well as fidgeting and lack of eye contact then no matter what the words you use the interviewer will think you lack confidence and are less likely to believe you.

When someone asks you how you are and you respond with 'I'm fine thanks' with no smile, minimal eye contact and hunched shoulders, then it could be perceived that you are not 'fine'. Expect a follow up question if the person really wants to know how you are really feeling. If someone is not bothered they will just shrug their shoulders and walk away.

The best way to find out about how you are perceived by others when communicating is to get some feedback from people you trust. Ask them to check your non-verbal communication, which includes things like eye contact, posture, gestures, appearance, facial expressions.  If you are preparing to do a presentation then video yourself and watch for the nerves leaking out in your non-verbals. The twiddling with your hair or clicking a pen.

Self-awareness is the first step to becoming an effective communicator. Once you are self-aware you can then manage and control your own behaviour.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self-esteem www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com