Your body language shapes who you are

In need of a confidence boost, then watch this for some simple tips....

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How to improve your communication skills

A Message from Noelyne...

There are three elements that make up face to face communication: Visual (Non-verbal or body language), Verbal (Words) and Vocal (Tone of voice). And according to Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of Psychology in face to face spoken communication a large percentage of meaning is taken from the non-verbal part. In fact his research suggests 55% of meaning is taken from non-verbals, 38% from the Tone and 7% the words.

What this means in practise is that if your words, tone and non-verbals are not aligned then the message you are giving could be misinterpreted. The same words said with different tone and body language can convey different meanings. For example, you could be at an interview and be explaining your achievements. If you hesitate or struggle to think of the words and use um's as well as fidgeting and lack of eye contact then no matter what the words you use the interviewer will think you lack confidence and are less likely to believe you.

When someone asks you how you are and you respond with 'I'm fine thanks' with no smile, minimal eye contact and hunched shoulders, then it could be perceived that you are not 'fine'. Expect a follow up question if the person really wants to know how you are really feeling. If someone is not bothered they will just shrug their shoulders and walk away.

The best way to find out about how you are perceived by others when communicating is to get some feedback from people you trust. Ask them to check your non-verbal communication, which includes things like eye contact, posture, gestures, appearance, facial expressions.  If you are preparing to do a presentation then video yourself and watch for the nerves leaking out in your non-verbals. The twiddling with your hair or clicking a pen.

Self-awareness is the first step to becoming an effective communicator. Once you are self-aware you can then manage and control your own behaviour.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self-esteem www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com

How to Influence Others - Cialdini's 6 sources of influence

A Message from Noelyne...

When it comes to Influence, Robert Cialdini is a well known expert and author on the topic. In his book 'Influence - The Power of Persuasion' he introduces his 6 Rules of Influencing.

Reciprocation:
If you do something for someone, they are likely to feel better about doing something for you in return. They might even feel obliged to help you in future.

Commitment and Consistency:
Once people make a commitment then they are less likely to change their mind due to the desire to be consistent which seems to be in built in us.  People don't want to lose face particularly where they have made a public commitment. That's why you are encouraged to write goals down to increase the likelihood of achievement.

Social Proof:
When people see others doing something, they feel better about doing it themselves. It's a bit like the lemmings scenario.

Liking:
People respond well to people they like.

Authority:
 People react positively to authority figures if they respect them.

Scarcity:
People are more interested in things that are difficult to obtain or might run out. That's why you see so many adverts stating that time is running out. Buy now while stocks last. This offer will not be repeated again! Special price for the first 20 people only! etc etc

Consider how you might be able to use these rules to enhance your influencing skills.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How to Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com

How to Influence Others - Perception

A Message from Noelyne....

What is perception?
 Most will say it's about the way you see something.

Perception is accomplished by taking information in through all of our senses and using this information to interpret the situation, recognise potential threats and decide how best to proceed.

How might peoples' perceptions of you impact your ability to influence them?

If they perceive you to be influential, they may be more likely to go along with your ideas. If they like you, they might be more likely to believe you. If you value the same things, they might be more inclined to listen to you.

Everyone has influence. Some influence people unintentionally and others influence people intentionally. Those with a greater degree of self-awareness are able to identify how they are perceived by other people and how to change those perceptions when necessary. This is a vital skill when your aim is to influence people in specific ways.

What do you see?

Some will see a vase or cup first, others will see the profiles of two people facing each other. We take in the information through our senses and interpret it's meaning.  This will be different for different people.

Two people going through the same experience will often have different stories to tell. Each will have taken in information in different ways, will have noticed different things and created different meanings. A lot will depend on past experience, also values and beliefs. When someone has had a bad past experience in a similar situation to the one they are now facing, it will often affect their perception of the current situation creating a negative meaning.  This can be evident when people are going through change. If there is strong resistance it could be due to previous bad experiences of change.

How do others perceive you?  If you are not sure then you need to ask some people you know and trust for some feedback.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report by completing your name and email in the boxes provided on the right hand side of the blog.

How To Influence Others - Building Credibility

A Message from Noelyne....

If you want to influence others then it helps enormously if you have a high level of credibility. People are more likely to listen to someone who knows what they are talking about, sounds as they know what they are talking about and has experience in the subject. It's all about how others perceive you. Are you seen as credible? Are you regarded as a person of integrity? Once you have established your credibility it will enhance the chances of influencing others and get the results you want.

So how do you establish credibility?


4 ways to build credibility are:

Honour confidentiality: An important step in gaining a trustworthy reputation. When someone confides in you, respect that confidence and don't blab to others.

Deliver on your promises: Reliability helps establish a reputation. When you say you are going to do something...Do It! Always follow through.

Accept responsibility: Acknowledge your mistakes, don't blame others and give others credit where it is due. Taking credit for the achievements of others in a sign of weakness and insecurity. You will gain respect from many more by highlighting the achievements of others.

Strengthen your expertise: Continue to grow and develop in your roles in life. Learn new skills and keep up to date with the latest knowledge and ideas.

Who do you know who has credibility? What is it about the person that makes you perceive them that way?

I regularly have to establish my credibility at the start of every new training course that I deliver. I tailor the introduction to match the subject matter, which helps to quickly establish credibility with my delegates.  This will enhance my chances of influencing their learning.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

How to Influence Others - Building relationships

A Message from Noelyne....

An essential element for influencing others is the quality of the relationships that you have cultivated.

Good relationships = more influence.

You'll have better relationships and support if:

• Colleagues like working with you 
• Friends like spending time with you
• You make whoever you are with feel valued.

Steps to cultivating better relationships:

1. Show interest in others, asking about and paying attention to their concerns. Put yourself in their shoes, and ask for or offer help when appropriate.
2. Be respectful to your family, friends and colleagues, treating them as you'd like to be treated yourself. Listen to and encourage them. Show you recognise the value of their contribution. Say thank you and give compliments.

Take time to get to know people and get yourself known. Keep your name on people's mind. Contact friends and colleagues regularly to keep up to date with what's happening in their world. Remember people's names when you meet them. It means a lot!

Enjoy the process of life

Noelyne

P.S. Get a copy of my book 'How To Overcome Life's Challenges' here www.howtofindconfidence.com

How To Influence Others - The Benefits

A Message from Noelyne....

I'm doing a series of posts on Influencing Skills. This one identifies the benefits of influencing skills and the reasons why you would want to influence others.  The skill of influencing works for both personal and professional relationships.

Benefits of influencing skills:

• Eliminate resistance to your ideas
• Get work done faster both at home and at work
• Reduce conflict and stress in your relationships
• Demonstrate you're a team player 
• Be a better negotiator
• Convince colleagues to help you
• Increase your sales
• Enhance your self-esteem by sharing your ideas and having people listen to you.
• Gain a reputation as someone who is positive, proactive and can get things done.

Few people work in isolation so we depend on others in part to get our work done, which is why good influencing skills are important. Success in life depends on the quality of our relationships. The more effective you are at building effective relationships and mastering the skill of influencing, the faster the rate of your success.

What's your reason for wanting to influence others?
We'll look at building effective relationships next time.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. Sign up for my Free Special Report on building confidence and self esteem, enter your name and e-mal in the boxes on the right hand side.