How to Overcome Trust Issues.

In the '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' Stephen R Covey introduces the concept of Emotional Bank Accounts.  In relationships you make deposits into the relationship by being loving, caring, honest, respectful, doing things for the other person unconditionally etc.  The more deposits you make the stronger the relationship and the higher the levels of trust.  This leads to a feeling of  safety within the relationship.  As with financial bank accounts you need to build up sufficient funds so that if you need to you can make withdrawals.  You can make mistakes and the trust level or emotional reserve will compensate for it.    

If you tend to be discourteous, disrespectful, dishonest or overreact or betray trust then eventually the emotional bank account will become overdrawn and trust levels will be very low.  Communication will no longer be easy, instant and effective as there will be too much suspicion and tension.  You will have to watch what you say for fear of the consequences.

In personal relationships communication tends to break down, you become withdrawn and start to protect yourself from being hurt.  You may start to live independent lifestyles or of course it can lead to defensiveness and hostility.

1. Consider your own relationships now.  Rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being low and 10 being high as to the level of trust.

2. Choose one of the relationships and make a list of all the things that you can do to make more deposits into that relationship to build and maintain the emotional bank account and trust levels.  

3. Start making those deposits today.

4. Watch and enjoy the positive changes that happen as a result of your actions.

Enjoy the process!

Noelyne

P.S. Buy the book here The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything