A Message from Noelyne...
I've given up.....hoping that one day I will no longer have challenges to overcome in life. A few years ago I had got to the point where I was tired of the constant struggle to overcome the challenges that seem to continually come my way. Challenges at work, in my personal life, with my relationships and after my divorce the financial challenges. I know that you learn most from the experiences that stretch you and take you out of your comfort zone however, I had got to the point where I no longer wanted to be stretched and developed.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt very tired of the constant battle to keep your head above water? Always feeling as though no matter what you do nothing changes or improves? Thinking that you are just about to get there, then something else arrives to knock you off your stride? Like redundancy or discovering your partner or husband is having an affair? Have you ever felt that you just don't want to have to do what it takes to survive and be successful?
The problem is with hoping that you will find happiness and peace and no struggles one day is, that one day never arrives. Do you know why it will never arrive? Because it's always in the future. That's a big lesson I have learned. There is only now. The past is history, the future a mystery and the present is a gift that's why they call it the present. It's here right now that you will find the peace and contentment and satisfaction and happiness that you desire.
Once realise that there is only now you can start to let go of the worry, frustration and feeling of constant battles. You just need to know that whatever happens you will handle it. I've turned my life around from that desperate feeling of never really getting anywhere with my life and I now have the life of my dreams. Yes there are always things that I desire and strive for, life would be no fun if you didn't have those hopes. The important thing is to enjoy the present moment.
And life continues to throw me those challenges. I've already blogged about one this week when I was asked at short notice to travel to Portsmouth to deliver a training course the following morning. What’s challenging about that I hear you ask? I had been up since 5am to travel to a meeting 3 hours away and was sat on a train on the return journey when the call came through. I arrived home at 7.30 and then drove to Portsmouth arriving at midnight.
This week I've also discovered an issue with one of my tenants, that needs to be dealt with immediately. A few years ago this would have sent me into the panic zone and sleepless nights. That feeling of fear you get to the point where you freeze not knowing what to do. However, now it's a process that needs to be followed to get the desired outcome. No I don't want to have to be dealing with this, it would be lovely if everything was as it should be, but it's not. And the sooner you accept the reality the sooner you can take action to do something about it.
It's often other people's behaviour that causes the problem. In this case, a standard or something that it very important to me has been broken. When you feel strongly enough about the situation and have clear standards then the solution is easy to choose and the action that follows easy to take, even though you don't really want to be doing it. Knowing who to contact for support helps immensely. I used to bottle things up for fear of appearing as though I couldn’t cope, for fear of what other people might think or say. I didn’t want to have to deal with their reaction.
You all need some time now and again in the comfort zone, it’s where you feel safe and things are easy. There’s a familiarity and this can happen at home and at work when you have been living or working on a task for some time. If you stay in the comfort zone too long it can become boring and you start to feel that there must be more to life than this.
If you get out of the habit of setting yourself new goals and activities to follow then you can easily go into your panic zone when facing a new or unexpected situation. This is where you allow your fear of what might or might not happen to stop you from taking action, you freeze. It’s inevitable that you will feel this at different stages throughout your life. You need to recognise the feeling and get curious about what it’s telling you. What are you afraid of? You need to get back to the Stretch zone, where you will feel excited and challenged rather than fearful.
When you overcome your fear and step out of your comfort zone into the stretch zone life becomes much more exciting and challenging. You become more confident as you develop new skills and overcome those challenges.
I've learned that the only thing that I can truly control in my life is my reaction to whatever happens. I've also know that I have the confidence and courage to overcome anything. Life is a balancing act of living in the comfort zone, moving into the stretch zone when appropriate and recognising when you are in the panic zone and need to change your approach. I'm sharing even more of these tips and techniques in my Membership site so that you too can have all the confidence you need and have a wonderful life.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne Jones
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here
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