Lets clarify what I mean by fears. One dictionary definition states 'be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event; "I fear she might get aggressive".'
It's a combination of a feeling and thought that you have about an unknown situation based on your belief or preconceptions of what might happen in the future. It can be based on a previous bad experience or from listening to others
In some situations the feeling of fear that you get is an instinctive response to a threatening situation, your intuition telling you that something is not right and that you need to be wary or even remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes described as the fight or flight response. This is a positive use for fear as it protects you from harm.
The fear I want to consider in this article is the feeling or emotion that causes you to decide not to take action. The sort of fear that gets in the way of you becoming all that you can be e.g. not applying for a new job, not speaking up for yourself at a meeting, not putting forward your ideas at home or work, not confronting someone about a problem they have caused, not volunteering to do a presentation for your employer... It's an adverse emotion that stops you moving forward and getting the life that you really want.
The great thing is that once you admit that you are afraid it's quite easy to overcome those fears.
The first thing you need to do is:
Believe that you can overcome your fears!
This is vital to your success. If you believe that you can’t overcome your fears then guess what? You won’t! Your beliefs about yourself and your life create the life that you have. What you believe to be true affects you every day and minute of your life. If you are holding back or not being as successful as you would like to be it will be due to a belief that you have about the situation or yourself.
The awesome thing is that a belief can be changed.
So what is a belief?
Beliefs are thoughts that you hold to be true about yourself and your life. There are many beliefs that we all hold which will be the same for example, I believe that the sun rises and sets every day. I believe that water evaporates to form clouds which rise over mountains and causes rain to fall. These are the sort of beliefs that will not change.
Where do beliefs come from?
Your beliefs are formed as a result of your education, your religion, your parents, your experiences, the media and many more. Each individual person has very different upbringing and experiences which makes you who you are. Each individual will have different beliefs and a different view of the world and depending on the experiences, these beliefs could be positive and resourceful or negative and un-resourceful.
Which of the following two possible beliefs do you think is more likely to result in a positive confident outgoing successful person?
1. ‘It’s a big wide scary world out there full of people out to manipulate and scheme against you and grab your money’. Or
2. ‘It’s a fantastic world filled with an abundance of opportunity and supportive people’.
If you don't get that it's 2. then this article is not for you.
Lets assume that you have accepted that your fear is holding you back and that you believe that you can overcome your fears.
You are now ready to move to the next level.
The Power of your thoughts
The thought of doing whatever it is that you want to do is often far worse than the reality. Think about a time when you nearly didn't do something because of how afraid, sick or fearful you felt. Did it turn out to be as bad as you thought?
The majority of the time it won't be. If it does at least you can make an informed decision based on experience rather than just your thoughts as to whether you wish to proceed with that course of action.
The thought that you have is normally based on your preconception of what might happen. Your mind starts to go into protective mode and imagine all sorts of negative outcomes all aimed at keeping you safe and in your comfort zone.
This of course is quite acceptable if you want to stay where you are doing the same old thing day after day.
To get what you want in life, to grow and improve you need to learn to overcome that feeling of fear and go out and do it.
To do this you need to become aware of the negative thoughts and then change them. Instead of thinking that everything will go pear shaped so there's no point in giving it a go, you need to imagine a positive outcome, the outcome that you really want.
For example, you have been asked to make a presentation at a conference and you know that it is a great opportunity however, your fear of public speaking stops you from accepting. The pictures you have in your mind currently are you standing up on stage stuttering, sweating profusely, tripping over the wires, the powerpoint not working etc etc. So much so that you decide not to do it.
A colleague with far less experience than you accepts, does a reasonable job and gets promoted as a result! How do you feel now!
Do you think this person didn't feel any fear? Most people do and that's quite normal, it's telling you that you need to prepare.
Part of that preparation is imagining yourself standing on stage speaking clearly, confidently and making a very effective presentation. Imagine the smiles and applause. Imagine feeling fantastic.
Obviously there are other things that you need to do to achieve the end goal. However, having a positive mindset at the outset will guarantee a good result.
If things don't go as well as you imagined that's OK too. Don't beat yourself up!. Celebrate completing the task and overcoming your fears You can review and learn from the experience, get some feedback, do more research and then give it another go. You learn from the experience and plan to do it better next time.
If you are worried about what other people will think of you if you make a mistake...don't be! People soon forget, they are much more interested in their own problems and fears. And anyway people tend to remember the first impression they get of you, which is created in the first 30 seconds of meeting someone for the first time. I can show you how to make a god first impression too for more information check out my blog via the link below.
Most of all start to enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne Jones
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here
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