How To Control Emotions

Hello,

I've recently been on holiday with my 79 year old Mum, who like most elderly Mum's never want to be a bother or cause any fuss... So why is it so stressful and why so I struggle to control my emotions when I am with her.  I find myself getting annoyed or irritated by her behaviour.  When she tries her best not to make a fuss it actually increases my frustration.  I do my best not to show my feelings as I don't want to upset her and end up feeling sad myself.  It's been the same every time I spend a full week with her.

Thankfully for me I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer called 'Never Give Up'.  I was attracted to this book as I've had a tendency to start things and then not finish them. It was an ideal book for me and I learned a considerable amount about the importance of persistence and continuing to take action when you totally believe in what you are doing.

In one of the chapters it referred to the situation I have just described about how I feel when I am with my Mum.  The advice given is that when you feel a negative emotion towards someone you need to look within yourself for the reason for the emotion.  I cannot start to tell you how powerful this is. It made me break the habit I had got into of blaming my Mum for her behaviour.  Instead I looked at why I was irritated with the way she behaves and I can tell you that I uncovered some of my own fears and beliefs about myself, my own behaviour.  It also made me face up to how I still feel about significant life events that happened when I was a child.  I was quite amazed! I thought I had dealt with all that stuff particularly am I am a personal development expert!  From then on the moment I started to feel a negative emotion towards my Mum I asked myself the question "What's causing this within me?" Not only did that thought stop the negative emotion it freed me up to be happy. 

And of course, it all had an impact on my Mum.  Behaviour breeds behaviour.  My behaviour had changed which affected her. 

To end a long story... we had a very enjoyable holiday!

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne

P.S. She wants to go to Crete and Turkey next year now!!