Being let down by other people

A Message from Noelyne...

Do you get frustrated when you can't complete a task? When you've got things outstanding, loose ends to tie up? You've done everything that you can and the only reason you can't complete it is because other people are involved and they are not doing their tasks on time.  They are letting you down.  When someone has promised they will do something by a certain date and then don't, how does that make you feel?

It's disappointing isn't it and your level of trust in them plummets.  You don't want to be feeling the way you do and you start to get annoyed at the person for doing this.  It starts to eat away at you, you go over things and start to wish you had taken different action so that you may have got a different result.  And yes it's a good opportunity to learn from your experience.  However, you are where you are and it's out of your control until the other person takes the action they have agreed to.

At such times it can be quite easy to start blaming the other person particularly if they are not communicating regularly with you.  You start to think the worst of them which leads to a change in your behaviour towards them and ultimately a breakdown in the relationship, particularly where you no longer trust them.  Once the relationship has broken down it can be challenging to retrieve so if you are dependent on this person it is always best to maintain good communications where possible. 

The solution? Obviously it depends on the circumstances.

Do nothing and wait for the person to act.
Are you totally dependent on this person?  Is there someone else who could help?
Consider if there is another way of getting what you want
Accept the situation and manage your fear of what might or might not happen.

Once they have done what you need then you can consider your options as to whether you still wish to have this person in your life.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

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