Learning to trust again!

Trust

How do you know it’s time to trust someone? What causes you to choose to stop trusting someone?
Trust lies at the heart of a strong relationship. When trust is lost we feel betrayed, angry and taken for granted.

But what is trust? It’s a belief we have that we can ‘place out trust’ in someone. We have enough evidence to allow that to happen and so we start to open up and confide in that person. There is an element of uncertainty and risk involved as whoever you are trusting may not always live up to the faith you are putting in them.

Many parents of teenagers will identify with choosing to trust our child to be able to spend the weekend in the house on their own without throwing a wild party. You may feel somewhat anxious as you drive away from the house and have a strong urge to ring up and "check how things are going". There is a risk involved, they may let you down.

Do you see trust as something that must be earned or negotiated? You may trust other adults according to how much you know of their character, attitudes and behaviour.

People have different meanings for trust. Our ability to trust may be affected by our upbringing and past experiences too. It is very easy within a marriage to assume you view trust in the same way as your partner, but assumptions can be misleading and lead to disappointment and hurt when things go wrong.

Most people want to place the responsibility for trust in a relationship on someone else. They base their trust on how someone acts towards them. I’ve discovered that trust in a relationship doesn't start with someone else. It starts with you and how willing you are to open up and allow the other person in. If you're having trust issues in a relationship, examine your own thoughts, feelings and issues from the past that have yet to be healed first before looking outward to blame someone else. I also suggest taking a step forward into love instead of fear every chance you get.

Talk about your doubts

Don’t let the fact that your previous relationship broke down be the reason why a future relationship breaks down. If you are having trust issues in a new friendship or relationship, talk these through with your new friend or partner. Explain to them why you are having the trust issues you are and explain your feelings to them. You may be surprised and find that your new friend or partner actually understands what you are going through!

It is going to be impossible to move on with your life after a divorce if you cannot trust anyone again. Trust is an essential element to any healthy relationship. Trust means you know you care for someone, and that they care for you. So make sure you have a healthy loving relationship in the future by learning to trust again.

Call me now to find out how coaching can move you forward and enable you to trust again,

08456 430 184

Noelyne

www.noelyne.com