Adjusting to changes in your life

A Message from Noelyne...

It's been a hectic few months with lots of change in my life happening so quickly that I've not yet had time to adjust.  What I mean is getting used to the changes to my lifestyle.  Prior to my partner and his boys moving in I had a very peaceful routine that worked extremely well for me.  Living alone means that you have no one else to answer to and can come and go as you please and live as you please.  Mornings were a quiet affair while I prepared myself for the day ahead. A combination of ablutions, meditation, exercise and breakfast.  If I wanted the radio on I would but sometimes I enjoy the peace and quiet not to be disturbed.

The other morning I'm quietly minding my own business as I go about the process of waking up.  Bearing in mind that the dishwasher now needs emptying every morning, there's four times as much rubbish to put out and constantly dirty dishes to clear away.  I'm not complaining in fact I am thankful for having a roof over my head and all these things to do.....my mind has just wandered to the people of Pakistan, which really puts all this into perspective.

There I am going about the process and my partner comes in and says 'You don't look happy'.  I was taken aback by his comment and totally unprepared and allowed it to upset me.  The discussion that followed allowed us to raise a couple of other things that were bothering both of us.  I've reflected since that morning and realised that my normal morning routine had been totally disrupted and that I needed to get back to doing the things that work for me i.e. the meditation and visualistion.  It's about adjsuting to the changes whilst retaining all that works for you.

I've lost the quiet peaceful early mornings however, I've gained so much more than that.  Sharing in the elder boys fantastic GCSE results this week and his success in a local competition at the gym, family meals, sharing and discussions, love and so much more.
My partner went out early this morning, the boys are in bed and I have just written this blog after meditating.

Bliss!

What have you stopped doing that is essential to your peace of mind?

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Send for a copy of my Free Special Report here

What pushes you over your limit?

 Message from Noelyne...

I've been blogging about managing or not managing stress for the last few days mainly because since coming back from holiday I have had additional unexpected challenges to overcome.  I've been managing my normal business activities, completing design work on a training contract which has been a full time job, helping my partner and his two teenage boys to move in with me and getting used to having three men in my life and then the unexpected trashing of a house that I rent out and managing the repairs etc.

I'm getting there slowly but surely, thankfully although there's still a number of loose ends to tie up.  I really don't like loose ends and get quite frustrated when I am unable to finish something, particularly if it's out of my control.  On discovering that some of the paperwork that I need to make a claim is missing I burst into tears.  This was my signal to hold my hands up and say Help!  I have my limits and this one small thing was enough to push me over the limit.  In normal circumstances I would have handled missing paperwork quite calmly however, when it's on top of a lot of other things it can be enough to give you a mini breakdown. Have you felt like that before?  It's all too much and you just don't want to continue?

It's at times like that you need to be able to turn to someone you trust for help and advice.  I don't know about you however, I don't find asking for help very easy.  It can make you feel as though you have failed or are inadequate.  You feel as though you should be able to cope with everything and that people will think badly of you if you can't cope.  Well the other day I turned to my partner and said 'I need help', 'I am not coping with everything'.  A man does not like to see his woman in distress and he immediately came to my rescue and took responsibility for a couple of the tasks I had organised that day.  A man likes to be able to help and solve problems as it makes him feel good and strong too.  It was a huge relief for me and freed me up to concentrate on my key priority for that day, which was meeting my client's training contract requirements.

So don't be afraid to ask for help.  It will make everyone a lot happier!

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. For more advice on overcoming your fears send for a copy of my Free Special Report
  

More Stress Management

A Message from Noelyne....

MORE STRESS MANAGEMENT

As the following diagram shows some stress is good and vital for performance however, if not managed well it can lead to exhaustion and distress.  Read read the tips below for ideas on how to overcome stress.

Tips for Overcoming and Managing stress.  Keeping stress at a healthy level so that you benefit from it.

• Make stress your friend

Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition, although Usain Bolt does a pretty good impression of being stress free. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

• Stress is contagious

What I mean by this is that negative people can be a huge stressor.  Negativity breeds stress and some people know how to do nothing but complain.  Now you can look at this in one of two ways.  First, they see you as a positive, upbeat person and hope that you can bring them back “up”.  If that’s not it, then they’re just a negative person and can’t feel better about themselves unless those around them are negative as well.
Don’t get caught up in their downing behavior.  Recognize that these kinds of people have their own stress and then limit your contact with them.  You can try to play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage their stress, but be aware that this may contribute more to your own stress, so tread lightly.

• Copy good stress managers

When people around are losing their head, which keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced? Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.  This goes for learning from successful people too.  So if someone has what you want look at what it is that they do and say and then copy them but in your own style.

• Use heavy breathing.

Yes I give you permission to do some heavy breathing.  You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

• Stop stress thought trains

It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?  How does worrying help?
Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks.

• Know your stress hot spots and trigger points

Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines……. Do these crank up your heart rate just thinking about them!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes your stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to de-caffeinated coffee?

• Eat, drink, sleep and be merry!

Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!

• Avoid using artificial means to dealing with your stress.

That means don’t automatically pour a glass of wine when you think you’re getting stressed out and don’t light up a cigarette.  In actuality, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and drugs can make the problem worse.  A better idea is to practice relaxation techniques.  Then, once you’re relaxed, you can have that glass of wine if you want.

• Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature.  

This is one of my favourite.  When I recognise that I'm stressed one of the first things I do is take a walk round the block.  A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone in your family and/ or circle of friends; things which seem overwhelming will soon become trivial matters, causing you to wonder what the predicament was.
Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

•  Give yourself permission to be a 'kid' again. 

What did you enjoy when you were a child? Draw; paint; be creative. Play with Play- dough, dance, or read. Play music, allow yourself freedom to express yourself without worry that you're not keeping with the image of who you are 'supposed' to be. Just relax and enjoy yourself.  You have a little child in you and it's a good idea to allow expression of the child within from time to time.  I love to turn the music up load and then dance around the kitchen.  Even my partners teenagers love it when I do air guitar.

• Don't set unrealistic for goals for yourself.

  How often have you set yourself up for defeat simply by setting unrealistic goals for yourself? For example, if you are dieting, realize you cannot lose 40 pounds in one or two months.
Or maybe you are trying to reach a goal of obtaining a particular job position; whatever your goal is allow sufficient time to reach your goals and realize occasional setbacks may occur.
If you reach your goal without any delays, you will be even happier with yourself for arriving quicker than you planned, but don't expect it. In fact don't expect anything; expectations and reality are often two entirely different things.

• Learn it is OK to say 'no' occasionally.  

Do you feel you have to say 'yes' to everyone, every time you are asked for help and feel that you must respond in a positive fashion?  Remember, you cannot be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need while at the same time keeping yourself happy.
You do not have to do everything your family and friends.  Of course you can help others, but first make sure you have done what is necessary to take care of yourself.
Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others needs before your own.
Enjoy the process of life and turn stress to your advantage,
Noelyne Jones
P.S. Free Special Report on How to Overcome your Fears - Get it here  

Overcome your Stress

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A Message from Noelyne....

Ok here's a video for you to check out.  I like to offer as many alternatives as possible so this one is about overcoming your stress through visualisation.  The concept works for many people, including the two presenters....or are they just playing along with it?  Let me know what you think.

Enjoy the process of life and don't let things get you down, it's really not worth it. Enjoy each moment, take yourself and situations lightly. See the humour in every situation.
God bless,
Noelyne Jones
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here.

How to Overcome Stress.

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A Message from Noelyne...

There are three major approaches to overcome stress. The first is the action-oriented approach. In this method, the problems that cause stress are identified and necessary changes are made for a stress free life.
The next approach is emotionally oriented and in it, the person overcomes stress by giving a different color to the experience that caused stress. The situation, which causes stress, is seen humorously or from a different angle.
I especially advocate this approach to stress management.  Sometimes if you don’t laugh at a situation, you’ll cry – uncontrollably.  That’s no solution.  So learn to see the humour instead of the doom.
The third way is acceptance-oriented approach. This approach focuses on surviving the stress caused due to some problem in the past.
The first stress management tip is to understand the root cause of your stress. No one understands your problem better than you do. A few minutes spent to recognise your true feelings can completely change the situation.
During this process, identify what triggered the stress. If someone close to your heart is nearby share it with the person. If you are overstressed and feel you are going to collapse, take a deep breath and count till ten. This pumps extra oxygen into your system and rejuvenates the entire body.
When under severe stress meditate for a moment and pull out of the current situation for a little while. Stand up from your current position and walk. Stretch yourself. Soon you will find that the stress has lessened.
This is because you have relaxed now and relaxation is the best medicine for stress. Smiling is yet another way of stress management. If you are at the work place, just stand up and smile at your colleague in the far corner. You will see a change in your mood. Learn some simple yoga or mediation techniques.
You can also invent your own stress management tips. The basic idea is to identify the cause of stress and to pull out from it for a moment and then deal with it. Taking a short walk and looking at objects in nature is another stress reliever. Drinking a glass of water or playing small games are simple stress management techniques. The whole idea is change the focus of attention and when you return to the problem, it does not look as monstrous as you felt before.
If you don't overcome or manage stress effectively the effect on you can be debilitating in terms of your health and well-being and your life.  So identifying and overcoming stress is vital.  Understand and learn to recognise when things in your life are causing you to feel unhealthily stressed.
Noelyne Jones
P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here
    

Stress Management techniques

A Message from Noelyne....

 Here are five quick steps you can take toward relieving and overcoming stress:

1.    Don’t just sit there. Move! According to many psychologists, motion creates emotion. You might notice that when you are idle, it’s easier to become depressed. Your heart rate slows down, less oxygen travels to your brain, and you are slumped somewhere in a chair blocking air from reaching your lungs.
I challenge you right now, regardless of how you are feeling, to get up and walk around at a fast tempo. Maybe you might want to go to an empty room and jump up and down a little bit. It may sound silly but the results speak for themselves. Try it now for a few minutes. It works like magic.
Exercise can be a great stress buster.  People with anxiety disorders might worry that aerobic exercise could bring on a panic attack.  After all, when you exercise, your heart rate goes up, you begin to sweat, and your breathing becomes heavier.
Don’t panic – it’s not an attack!  Tell yourself this over and over while you’re exercising.  Realize that there’s a big difference between the physical side of exercise and what happens when you exercise.
2.    Smell the roses. How do you smell the roses? How about investing some money to go on that one trip you’ve been dreaming about? Visit a country with lots of exotic places to jolt your imagination and spur your creativity. You need to detach from your daily activities and venture a little bit.
3.    Help others cope with their problems. It is very therapeutic when you engross yourself in helping others. You will be surprised how many people’s problems are worse than those you may be facing. You can offer others assistance in countless ways. Don’t curl up in your bed and let depression and stress take hold of you.
Get out and help somebody. But be careful.  Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems in an attempt to forget about your own.
I am constantly being called by friends and family when they want to vent or get advice.  I joke and tell them “Don’t call the ‘crazy’ person for advice!”  But there are times that I find myself worrying about the ones who call me and I get caught up in what they’re going through.  This just gives me more stress than I already have and I find that I have to step away and re-assess myself and my priorities.
I’m now to the point where I can tell them that I just can’t deal with it right now and to call back later.  Sometimes, they get upset, but more often than not, they understand.  But I’ve learned not to get too upset about their reactions.
4.    Laugh a little. By now you’ve heard that laughter is a good internal medicine. It relieves tension and loosens the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical that rids the body of pains.
Every day, researchers discover new benefits of laughter. Let me ask you this question: “Can you use a good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and then?” Of course you can. What you are waiting for? Go a comedy club or rent some funny movies.
5.    Wear your knees out. If there were one sustainable remedy I could offer you when the going gets tough, it would be prayer. Many people, depending on their faith, might call it meditation. It doesn’t matter to me what you call it, as long as you have a place to run to.

There you have a few quick fixes when you’re feeling stressed.  These will help you overcome stress and feel more relaxed in yourself.  Try them and find out what works best for you.

Enjoy,

Noelyne Jones


P.S. Request a copy of my Free Special Report here

Eliminate Stress from your life.

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A Message from Noelyne....

I recently saw a title of an article on 'How to eliminate stress and anxiety from your life'.  Initially I thought that was a great title however, after thinking a little more I wondered why you would want to eliminate stress completely.  In my experience some stress is good for you.  It motivates you to take action.  It can give you a buzz and get you in the zone for achieving fantastic results.  Some stress keeps you alert and aware, keeps you focused on what you are aiming for.  Without the stress you tend to sit back, relax and take things easy and so not achieve very much.  Just like when you are on holiday, so now and again this is also good for you.

It's when you get too much stress that things tend to get out of hand resulting in confusion, a loss of focus, overload, poor decision making and poor results.  If the high levels of stress are prolonged then this can often result in illness in the body such as headaches, ulcers and other serious health conditions.

Each individual is different and will have different tolerance levels in terms of dealing with too many things going on at once.  The majority of people would be able to handle each one of these things if that's all that was happening, it's when you get many things all at the same time that it becomes stressful and mistakes happen. I've recently come back from holiday where I totally switched off however, on my return I discovered that my home phone and broadband had been disconnected in error, a number of problems with a property that I rent out, my partner is confirmed as requiring a major operation and getting used to having someone living with me again.  This on top of the normal day to day activities of living and running a thriving business.
Tips for Managing too much going on at once

1. Recognise and accept that you have too much happening.
2. Know that you are not alone, there is always someone ready to help out both voluntarily and paid.
3. Take a deep breath and for each situation be very clear on what you want to achieve. 
4. Plan what needs to be done in order of priority. (Don't panic! as this is when mistakes happen)  Depending on what it is that you are dealing with check your rights and responsibilities first. Write things down.
5.  Take action.  If you need other people on board consider who you know and trust.  If you are paying people aim to employ people recommended to you, so reducing the stress of poor quality work.

Put things into perspective.  You will get through this phase of your life.  There are normally people far worse off for example, people losing their lives in disasters or in conflict situations.  If you are handling situations that you wish had not happened stop focusing on what's wrong and focus on the solution.  See it as a learning experience for you and an opportunity to connect with other people and perhaps to give employment to other people.  There is opportunity in every situation.


I'll post some stress management techniques next time,
 Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Free Special Report on How to Overcome Your Fears, get your copy here Free

Post holiday stress and how to manage it.

A Message from Noelyne....


It doesn't take long to get stressed out again does it?  You've just had a fabulous holiday and don't have a care in the world and you start to believe that you can be like this all the time.  You know that you have to eventually go home however, you delay switching your mind back on until the very last moment which really starts when you have to pack away your stuff.  That's when you start to wonder where you put things like the tickets, passports and house keys and parking tickets.  The slow process of winding yourself up again starts.

You dread the journey home because there's bound to be delays of some sort or someone will get sick in the car etc.  And then there's the thought of all that washing....  Will the house still be there?  The garden may be overgrown.  Can you feel the tension starting to come back?

The beauty of being in self-catering with a washing machine is that you can do the washing before you come home and get the family to help.  It's quite a novelty for them using someone elses equipment!  Plus the boys were heading straight for another holiday with their Mum so it was a necessity.

Pillows in the car for the children to sleep and Mp3 players are a godsend.  They were soon asleep.  Keeping calm when we got caught in traffic is always a challenge however, great music helps as does a cheerful partner and regular stops for coffee.


Arriving home at a reasonable time of day is always a bonus as it gives you time to unpack and then settle down for an evening meal and relaxation and an early night.  Travelling tends to create stress on the body so it's good not to aim to achieve too much on the first day back.  Do you find that the further away you have travelled the longer it takes you to recover?

This year due to a problem that had arisen whilst on holiday I had to arrange a meeting for the day I arrived home, which was a bit of a shock to the system and not recommended.  However, the meeting identified a new problem which needed to be solved so I was able to take action sooner than if I'd left it yet another day.  Unfortunately, having solved the new problem this identified yet more problems previously hidden.  I can't yet blog about them as I need to seek legal advice.  Yet more challenges to overcome and more things for me to learn and eventually share with you.

So not the best return from a holiday I have had however, at least I was in a wonderful frame of mind to deal with them.  So much for the slow wind up too, guess who is already ready for the next holiday.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Request a copy of my free special report here

Back Home!

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A Message from Noelyne....

I'm in the wonderful position of having been able to take over a month off on holiday.  It's not always been like that as I worked for an organisation for 25 years where you had to apply for leave and hope that you got what you wanted.  During the first few years of running my own business I chose to work rather than take leave.  However, I am now in a position of being able to take holidays when I choose.  It's a fantastic feeling.  And I certainly made the most of it this year.  I've just come back from a holiday to Cumbria with my family and prior to that I was on holiday in a small village called Kalkan in Turkey. Both holidays fantastic but totally different.

Turkey was superbly relaxing mainly due to staying in a hotel and being forced to slow down due to the heat.  the best thing to do is lie by the pool in the shade reading a book.  I'd hoped to find inspiration to write my next book however, even this was just too much of an effort.  I totally switched off and enjoyed spending time with my partner and hia 16 year old son.

Then off to Cumbria to stay for two weeks in a converted eco friendly barn in the middle of nowhere.  This time there were four of us as my partner's 13 year old son joined us too.  We were self catering so no getting up for freshly squeezed orange juice and omelettes.  We agreed to share tasks so the boys also cooked meals occasionally, washed up and were responsible for keeping their own bedrooms clean.  We were constantly on the go walking, swimming and sight seeing.  Relaxation came in the evenings with good food and wine, watching DVD's, reading and even a wasgij! I could easily have stayed an additional week although it was a little frustrating without wifi or telephone.

So this week it's about getting back into the zone, winding myself back up so that I'm ready for the next holiday.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Remember to request a copy of my Free Special Report www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com

Natural Living

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A Message from Noelyne...

Natural living

I have just spent two weeks at an eco friendly barn in Cumbria.  Going green is very important to me as I believe in doing my bit to help protect the earth.  I was brought up on a farm for the first 5 years of my life and then after my dad left we moved to live with my Grandparents who had been farmers all their life.  So a love of the land, animals and the environment was instilled in me from a young age and some would say is in my blood.  Money was in short supply due to Mum being a single parent (and no state benefits to help!) so I got into the habit of saving and not wasting anything.

I am careful with anything and everything that I come into contact with including money, food, possessions.  So staying in a green barn was excellent for me.

Staying in an eco friendly barn made me aware of how important living naturally is to me. It made me aware of the amount of waste in the world and the fact that many people who do not take the time to care for their environment.  I hate waste of any kind including wasted food.  People whose eyes get bigger than their bellies.  Although this is not a problem for us since the boys have become teenagers.  In fact the challenge is to keep enough food in the house.

Living naturally is very close to my heart and it all stems from my upbringing.  I love the countryside, the scenery, the fresh air and the animals.  Walking through fields of sheep and cows realising how much I enjoyed this as a child.  I had forgotten how much knowledge I have about farming.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Free Special Report How to Overcome Your Fears.  Click Here

Leann Rimes - Amazing Grace

Not easy to think of challenges when you are totally relaxed

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A Message from Noelyne...

When you are happy and content and living in the moment it's hard to think of your problems. This blog is about overcoming life's challenges however, whilst on holiday I found it difficult to think of situations
and problems to blog about.  I took my laptop with me expecting to be inspired into writing and blogging daily particularly as we were staying in a rural area in th emiddle of nowhere.

However, as I felt totally relaxed and at ease with life I found it difficult to think of anything other than the present moment and enjoying time with my family . I was with people I love and who love me. I felt safe and totally chilled out. Making decisions other than what to do and what to eat, became an effort so I stopped. My brain switched off completely. Nothing really mattered apart from enjoying the moment. Have you ever felt like that? Where all your problems, issues and concerns dissolve.

It's a feeling that I only get when I am on holiday and staying away from home. I can be on holiday at home however, I see all the things I have yet to do so don't completely relax.

Where we stayed there was no Internet access which initially made me feel nervous and as though something was missing. I am so used to accessing emails and websites daily and having access to information at the drop of a hat. However there is more to life than the Internet! For example, to get information about the area I went back to going to the tourist office. It was lovely meetiung and chatting with local people and discovering what to do.

Even though I love what I do. It's been good to have an extended complete break away from what has become my normal life.

Enjoy the process of life,

Noelyne Jones

P.S. Overcome your fears with a copy of my Free Special Report